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KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

A COMEDY ; 

m FIFE ACTS, '^^ 

iJS Arthur J^ttr|j!i||, 



WITH PREFATORY REMARKS. 

THE ONLY EDITION EXISTING WHICH IS FAITHFULLY 

MARKED WITH THE STAGE BUSINESS, 

AND STAGE DIRECTIONS, 

AS IT IS PERFORMETi AT THE 
By W. OXBERRY, Comedia'A,. 



BOSTON : 

PUBLISHBO BT WELLS AND LILLY — COURT-STREET : 
A. T. GOODRICH & CO. — NEW-YORK. 

1823. 









^¥2 itf 

1 



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fUtmmUu. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



J-T is no easy matter to adjust the claims to originality 
between this comedy and the *' School for ScandaW'' Mur- 
phy asserts that he had written Know your own Mind many 
years prior to its production ; and thus much is certain ; 
the comedy was for a long time in the possession of Sheri- 
dan before he brought out his play on the boards of his own 
theatre. This fact, though not conclusive, is at least fa- 
vourable to the claims of Murphy, coupled as it is with the 
singular circumstance, that Sheridan, neither before nor 
after, wrote any thing at all comparable to the School for 
Scandal. The "jDMcn/i«" and the ^'Rivals," the best of 
his remaining productions, are yet far inferior to this cele- 
brated comedy, and, if report speaks truly, Sheridan him- 
self was not slow in acknowledging the fact. The striking 
likeness between the two pieces seems to be a result be- 
yofld all the possible calculations of chance, the similarity 
is extended to so many points, to individual characters as 
well as to the general substance. Yet with all this cir- 
cumstantial evidence on one side, and I have purposely 
placed it in its strongest colours, it is scarcely possible to 
come to a decision. This similarity in the two comedies 
might perhaps be occasioned by both authors going to the 



same storehouse for their materials; and, in truth, the 
germ of either play is to be found in the miscellaneous prose 
works of the elder Colman ; that Sheridan looked into this 
latter author is beyond a question, for he has borrowed two 
or three very brilliant ideas from Colman, though he has 
clothed them in his own terse and peculiar language. Cri- 
tical justice has seldom been done to ^^ Know your own 
Mind ;''^ because it is inferior to its brilliant prototype, the 
general voice has been too apt to condemn it as worth 
nothing ; whereas, it is by far the best comedy that Mur- 
phy ever wrote, and this is no slight praise, considering 
that he is the author of " All in the Wrongs''' and " The 
Way to Keep Him.'''' The dialogue is less epigramatic 
than the dialogue of " The School for Scandal,^'' but what 
it loses thereby in pungency, it gains on the other hand in 
its approximation to the language of common life ; the cha- 
racters speak the real dialect of the world, or at least only 
differ from it by that superior degree of polish and correct- 
ness which is requisite for the purposes of the drama ; it is 
that slight colouring beyond nature which the painter is 
compelled to give to his portrait for effect, and which, how- 
ever false in itself, is yet true in its results. 

In regard to plot, this comedy is perhaps the first of the 
modern English Diama, notwithstanding the excellent 
screen-scene in the School for Scandal, which, with all its 
brilliance, is liable to one decided objection. The screen 
is placed before the window, because Joseph's " opposite 
neighbour is a maiden lady of so curious a temper," and 
yet it is between the screen and this very window that Jo- 
sepli places Lady Teazle, directly exposed to the prying 
eyes of the maiden lady with the " curious temper ;" if it 
were an object of so much importance that the old maid 
should not see Sir Peter's wife in the room, as a visitor, of 



how much more importance was it, that she should not 
see her in that awkward position, concealed behind a 
screen ! It would be difficult to point out a blunder of this 
magnitude in Murphy's comedy. 

" Know your oivn Mind'' has besides a decided advan- 
tage in its female characters. Lady Bell and Lady Jane 
are, even separately considered, far superior to Maria. It 
has indeed been asserted, that this character was infinite- 
ly more prominent in the author's original sketch, but that 
he reduced it to its present state, because the actress into 
whose hands the part must inevitably tall, was unequal to 
its performance. This may be true, but it has inflicted an 
incurable wound upon Sheridan*'s brilliant work. As the 
matter now stands, Charles and Maria never come in con- 
tact through the whole progress of the piece, and the cha- 
racter of Maria is, in consequence, flung completely into 
shadow ; she is even inferior to the mild and tender Ne- 
ville, who yet with Murphy is but a sort of reliel t© the 
broad caricature and brilliant colouring of Millamour, 
Dashwould and Lady Bell. 

There is some little falling off from propriety towards the 
end of this diverting piece ; the characters depart somewhat 
from their individual natures to bring about a pleasant ca- 
tastrophe, and are all rather too abrupt in their reforms. 
This, however, is always the most difficult part of an au- 
thor's task, and perhaps no dramatist excepting Shakspeare 
has ever fairly conquered it. When at the conclusion of 
the " Merry Wives of Windsor,'''^ Master Brook lays aside 
his jealousy, and Falstaff gives up his schemes upon the 
women, their real dispositions are , by no means changed ; 
the men are precisely the same as at the outset of the 
piece, though they are acted upon by circumstances. But 
this is by no means the case with Murphy ; Sir Harry rises 



above himself; Dashwould becomes a moralist ; and Mill- 
amour is suddenly reformed into steadiness : all that are 
made happy are made so at the expense of their consisten- 
cy ; Malvil and Mrs. Bromley, who are dismissed to con- 
tempt and disappointment, are the only characters that 
end as they began, and preserve their colours unchang- 
ed and unchangeable to the last. 



SPOKEN BY MR. LEWIS. 



Through the wide tracts of life, in every trade, 
What numbers toil with faculties decayed ! 
Worn out, yet eager— in the race they run, 
And never learn — when proper to have done. 

What need of proofs ? Ev'n authors do the same. 
And rather than desist, decline in fame. 
Like gamesters thrive at first ; then bolder grow, 
And hazard all upon one desp'rate throv/. 

This truth to feel, perhaps too much inclin'd, 
Our Bard, long hackney'd, trembles there behind, 
Lest he should prove — another vanisJi'd mind. 
Long has this play lain hid, suppress'd by fears, 
Beyond the Critics rule, above nine years I 
And now he comes, — 'tis the plain simple truth. 
This night to answer for his sins of youth. 

The piece, you'll say, should now perfection bear j 
But who can reach it after all his care ? 



PROLOOUE. 7 

He paints no monsters for ill-judg'd applause : 
Life he has view'd, and from that source he draws. 
Here are no fools, the Drama's standing jest ! 
And Welchmen now, North Britons too may test. 
Hibernid's sons shall here excite no wonder, 
Nor shall St. Patrick blush to hear them blunder. 
By other arts he strives your taste to hit, 
Some plot, some character — he hopes, some wit. 
And if this piece should please you like the past, 
Ye Brother Bards ! forgive him : — ''tis his last. 

Lost are the friends who lent their aid before ; 
Roscius retires, and Barry is no more. 
Harmonious Barry I with what varied art 
His grief, rage, tenderness assail'd the heart? 
Of plaintive Oiway now no more the boast ! 
And Shakspeare grieves for his Othello lost. 
Oft on this spot the tuneful swan expir'd, 
Warbling his grief; — you listen, and admir'd. 
'Twas then but fancied woe ; now ev'ry Muse, 
Her lyre unstrung, with tears bis urn bedews. 

From this night's scenes e'en Woodward too is fled, ^ 
Stretch'd by pale sickness on his languid bed, V. 

Nor can Thalia raise her favourite's* head. \ 



* Woodward was to have played the part of Dashwould ; 
in his last illness he lamented to the author, that he could 
not close his theatrical life with that character ; he died a 
few weeks after the play appeared ; for years the life of the 
comic scene, and in his end regretted as a worthy and an 
honest man. 



« PROLOGUE. 

For them our Author lov'd the tale to weave ;: 
He feels their loss; and now he takes his leave ; 
Sees new performers in succession spring, 
And hopes new poets will expand their wing. 
Beneath your smile his leaf of laurel grew ; 
Gladly he'd keep it, — for 'twas giv'n by you. 
But if too weak his art, if wild his aim, 
On favours past he builds no idle claim : 
To you once more he boldly dares to trust; 
Hear, and pronounce — he knows you will be just. 



mmt of ^tpvtmntmon. 

The time this piece takes in representation, is three- 
hours. The half-price commences at nine o'clock. 



Stage Directions. 

By R.H. ------- is meant Right Hand. 

L.H. ••- Left Hand. 

s.E. Second Entrance. 

F.E. , -- Upper Entrance. 

M.D. Middle Door. 

D.F. Door in Flat.. 

R.H.D. Right Hand Door. 

li.ii.D. Left Haaad Door. 



Costume. 



MILLAMOUR. 
B^o^vn «oat, white waistcoat, and breeches, 

DASHWOULD. 
Blue coat,— ibid. 

SIR H. LOVEWIT. 
Green coat,— ibid. 

CAPTAIN BYGROVE, 
Blue regimental coat,— ibid- 

MALVIL. 
Black coat, white waistcoat, and black breeches. 

SIR J MILLAMOUR. 
Black velvet coat and breeches, and embroidered waistciat. 

BYGROVE. 
Middle aged gentleman's suit. 

CHARLES. 
Livery white jacket, white waistcoat, and breeches. 

LADY JANE. 
Blue muslin dress, trimmed with satin; white satin under dres& 

LADY BELL. 
Pink mujlin dress, trimmed the same. 

MRS BROMLEY. 
Yellow satin dress, leno drapery trimmed with laee. 

MISS NEVILLE. 
Grey cloth dress, trimmed with black velvet. 
MADAME LA RUGE. 
White petticoat, worked flgwers, ditto apron, yellow satin body. 



JPevsons iirpiTsnitrDi* 



Drury Lane* Covent Garden. 

Millamour Mr, Rae. .Mr. Lewis. 

Dashxvould -------- Mr. Harley. ^Mr Lee Lewis. 

Malvil --------- Mr. Bengough. Mr. Wroughton. 

Bygrove --------- Mr. Powell. Mr. Aikin. 

Capt. Bygrove ------- Mr. Barnard. /Mr. Booth. 

Sir John Millamour ' - - - - Mr- R Phillips. Mr. Fearon. 

Sir Harry Lovewit ----- Mr. Penley. Mr. Whitfield. 

Charles --------- Mr. Fisher. Mr. Wewitzer. 

Lady Bell -------- Mrs. Alsop, > Mrs. Mattocks. 

Lady Jane -------- Mrs. Orger. Miss Dayes. 

Mrs. Bromley ------- Mrs. Harlowe. Mrs. Jackson. 

Miss NevTlle ------- Miss Boyce. /Mrs. Hartley. 

Madame La Rouge ----- Miss Tids".vell. Miss Ambrose. 



KNOW YOUR^WN MIND. 




SCENE I. — A'lt^ Apartment in Sir John Mil- 
*Wo^S«H^ House. 

Enter SiBjJomiyand Bygrove, l.h. 

Byg. Why then Pll^marry again, and disinhe- 
rit him. r\ 

Sir John. Brbmer Bygrove, you think too se- 
verely in these^inNi^rsj. 

Byg. Well argued^Wily ! he that should obey 
is to judge for himsell(^ and you that are his go- 
vernor, are to be directed by him. 

Sir John. "J^pur system and mine differ widely, 
brother Byg^v^. IVty^son is of an enlarged and 
liberal understanding J'^>^hd I a father of mild au- 
thority. \ J 

Byg. If I see any nting wrong, I accost him 
directly : look ye, sir, do you think to go on in 
this fashion ? Not during my life, I promise jou : 
I will acknowledge you no longer than you 
prove worthy ! and if you can't discern what is 
befitting you, 1 at least will judge what is 
proper on my part. [Crosses to r.h.) 



12 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Sir John. Well, George and I have lived to- 
gether as friends. From a boy, I endeavoureti 
to subject him rather to his reason than his 
fears. 

Byg. But the consequence of all this? Ha? 
he a settled opinion ? a fixed principle for a mo- 
ment ? 

Sir John. I beg j^our pardon. I see a person 
there. Charles, Charles, this way. (^Crosses to r.h.) 

Enter Charles, l.h. 

Sir John. Well, Charles, what is he about ? 

Char. Very busy, sir, a thousand things in hand. 

Byg. And all at the same time, I'll warrant. 

Char. We have a deal to employ us, sir. 

Sir John. Have you sounded him in regard to 
what I mentioned last night ? 

Char. That's what I wanted to tell your ho- 
nour. Last night, sir, as he, was going to bed, 
I touched upon the subject ; dropt a hint or two, 
that it is now time to think of raising heirs to 
himself: enlarged upon the comforts of matri- 
mony, and I think with no small degree of elo- 
quence. 

Byg. The fellow is laughing at you. 

Sir John. Weil, and how? What eifect ? 

Char. A very visible effect, sir. This morn- 
ing early, my master rings his bell. Charles, 
says he, I have been considering what you said 
last night : I shall pay a vi«fit to the young ladies, 
and, I believe, I shall marry one of them. 

Sir John. There, Mr. Bygrove : I am for ever 
obliged to you, Charles. Well, go on 



KxNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 13 

Char. I fly immediately to g-et him his things 
to dress, and return in an instant. Charles, says 
he, then tossed himself back in his chair, beat 
the ground with his heel, and fell a reading. 
Won't your honour get ready to visit the young 
ladies ? — The ladies, what ladies, you blockhead ? 
— Lady Bell, and Lady Jane, your honour, Mrs. 
Bromley's handsome nieces. Po ! you're a num- 
skull, says he, with an oblique kind of a smile ; 
stretched his arms, ya^vned, talked to himself, 
and bade me go about my business. 

Bijg. I knew it would end so. There is not 
a crane-neck carriage in town can give a short 
turn with him. 

Sir John. This is provoking. Any body with 
him this morning ? 

Char. He has had a power of people with 
him, sir — a commission-broker, to sell him a 
company in a marching regiment ; the Mayor 
of a borough, about a seat in parliament. And 
there are several with him now, 3%. There is 
Sir Harry Lovewit, and — 

BijfT. Aye ! Sir Harry ! I am glad he is of age, 
and that I am no longer Ms guardian. 

Char. He is with my master, sir ; and there 
is Mr. Malvil, and Mr^ Dashwould, and — {Bell 
rings., R.H.) — He rings, sir ; you will pardon me ; 
I must be gone, sir. [£Jx?7, r.h. 

Byg. And that fellow, Dashwould ; he is the 

ruin of your son, and of poor Sir Harry into the 

bargain. He has wit to ridicule you ; invention 

to frame a story of vou ; humour to help it about, 

2 * " 



14 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



iind when he has set the town a laughing, he 
puts on a familiar air, and shakes you by the 
hand. 



Enter Malvil, r.h. 

B'JaL Intolerable, there is no being safe where 
he is. For my part, I had rather throw a veil 
over the infirmities of my friend, than seek a 
malicious pleasure in the detection. That's 
my way of thinking. 

Sir John. I fancy you are right, This son of 
mine does so perplex me. (^Walks aside.) 

Mai Pray, Mr. Bj'^grove, give me leave. I 
am sorry to hear certain whispers about a friend 
of ours. 

Byg. About whom ? the widow, Mrs. Bromley ? 

JMal. Oh ! no, no ; I have a great respect for 
her ; though I — Pray don't you think she throws 
out the lure for a young husband ? 

Byg. For k husband, yes, but not too young a 
one ; you can serve my interest in that quarter. 

Mai I know it : rely upon my friendship. 
But have you heard nothing of an eminent tur- 
key merchant ? 

Byg, Mr. Freeport? 

Mai. I say nothing : I don't like the affair : 
have you really heard nothing ? Any money of 
yours in his hstnds ? 

Byg. Po ! as safe as the bank. 

Mai. I may be mistaken. I hope I am : 1 was in 
company the other night : several members of 
parliament present : they did not speak plainly : 
hints and jnuendos only ; you won't let it go any 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 15 

further. His seat in the house they all agreed, is 
perfectly convenient at this juncture. 1 hope the 
cloud will blow over — I shall remember you 
with the widow. 

Byg. One g-ood turn deserves another : I shan't 
be unmindful of your interest, 

Mai. There now you hurt me : you know my 
delicacy : must friendship never act a disinter- 
ested part? I esteem you, Mr. Bygrove, and that's 
sufficient. Sir John, give me leave to say, the 
man who busies himself about other people's af- 
fairs, is a pragmatical character, and very dan- 
gerous in society. 

Byg. So I have been telling Sir John. But to 
laugh at every thing is the fashion of the age. 
A pleasant good-for-nothing fellow is by most 
people preferred to modest merit. A man like 
Dashwould, who runs on — So ! here comes 
Scandal in folio. 

Enter Dashwould, r,h. 

Dash. Sir John, I rejoice to see you. Mr. 
Bygrove, I kiss your hand. Malvil, have you 
been uneasy for any friend since ? 

Mai. Po ! absurd ! ( Walks away.) 

Dash. I have been laughing with your son, 
Sir John. Pray have I told you about Sir Ri^ 
chard Doriland ? 

Byg. You may spare him, sir, he is a very 
worthy man. 

Dash. He is so : great good nature about him : 
I love sir Rjchard, You know he was divorced 



16 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

from his wife ; a good fine woman, but an invin- 
cible idiot. 

Mai. (l.h.) Look ye there, now, Mr. Bygrove ! 

Byg. My Lady Doriland, sir, was always ac- 
counted a very sensible woman. 

Dash, She was so ; with too much spirit to be 
ever at ease, and a rage for pleasure, that broke 
the bubble as she grasped at it. She fainted 
away upon hearing that Mrs. Allnight had two 
card tables more than herself. 

Byg. Inveterate malice ! 

Dash. They waged war a whole winter, for 
the honour of having the greatest number of 
fools, thinking of nothing but the odd trick. 
First, Mrs. All-night kept Sundays ; her ladyship 
did the same ; Mrs. All-night had forty tables ; 
her ladyship rose to fifty. Then one added, 
then t'other; till every room in the house was 
crammed like the black hole at Calcutta ; and 
at last, upon casting up the account. Sir Richard 
sold off fifteen hundred acres, to clear incum- 
brances. 

Sir John. Ridiculous ! and so they parted up- 
on this ? 

Dash. Don't you know the history of that 
business ? 

Mai Now mark him ; now. 

Dash. Tender of reputation, Malvil ! — The 
story is well known. She was detected with-^ 
the little foreign count — I call him the Salaman- 
der — I saw him five times in one winter upon 
the back of the fire at Bath, for cheating at 
cards. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 17 

Mai. Go on, sir, abuse every bod}^ My lady 
was perfectly innocent. 1 know the whole af- 
fair : a mere contrivance to lay the foundation 
of a divorce. 

Dash. So they gave out. Sir Richard did not 
care a nine-pin for her while she was his. You 
know his way ; he despises what is in his pos- 
session, and languishes for what is not. Her 
ladyship was no sooner married to — what's his 
name ? — His father was a footman, and madam 
Fortune, who every now and then loves a joke, 
sent him to the East Indies, and in a few years 
brought him back at the head of half a million, 
for the jest's sake. 

Mai. Mr. Dashwould, upon my word, sir — 
Families to be run down in this manner ! 

Dash. Mushroom was his name : my lady Do- 
riland was no sooner married to him, but up to 
his eyes Sir Richard was in love with her. He 
dressed at her ; sighed at her ; danced at her ; 
she is now libelled in the Commons, and Sir 
Richard has a crim. con. against him in the 
King's Bench. 

Mai. Pshaw ! I shall stay no longer to hear 
this strain of defamation. [Exit^ l.h. 

Dash. Malvil, must you leave us ? A pleasant 
character this same Malvil. 

Byg. He has a proper regard for his friends, 
sir. 

Dash. Yes, but he is often present where 
their characters are canvassed, and is anxious 
about whispers which nobody has heard. He 
knows the use of hypocrisy better than a court 
chaplain. 



18 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Byg. There, call honesty by a burlesque 
name, and so pervert every thing. 

Dash. Things are more perverted, Mr. By- 
grove, when such men as Malvil make their 
vices do their work, under a mask of goodness : 
and with that stroke we'll dismiss his character. 

Sir John. Ay, very right ; my brother Bygrove 
has a regard for him, and so change the subject. 
My son, Mr. Dashwould, what does he Intend ? 

Dash. Up to the eyes in love with Lady Bell, 
and determined to marry her. 

Sir John. 1 told you so, Mr. Bygrove ; I told 
you, you would soon see him settled in the 
world. Mr. Dashwould, I thank you : I'll step 
and confirm George in his resolution. [Exit., r.h. 

Dash. A good-natured man. Sir John, and does 
not want credulity. 

Byg. Ay, there, the moment his back is turned. 

Dash. Gulliver's Travels is a true history to 
him. His son has strange flights. First he was 
to be a lawyer ; bought chambers in the Temple, 
eat his commons, and was called to the bar. 
Then the law is a damned dry, municipal study ; 
the army is fitter for a gentleman ; and as he 
was going to the war office to take out his commis- 
sion, he saw my Lord Chancellor's coach go by ; 
in an instant, back to the Temple, and no sooner 
there, " Po ! plague ! hang the law ! better mar- 
ry, and live like a gentleman." Now marriage 
is a galling yoke, and he does not know what 
he'll do. He calls his man Charles ; sends him 
away ; walks about the room, sits down, asks a 
question ; thinks of something eke ; talks to him- 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 19 

self, sings, whistles, lively, pensive, pleasant and 
melancholy in an instant. He approves, finds 
fault ; he will, he will not : and in short, the man 
does not know his own mind for half a second. — 
Here comes Sir John. 

Enter Sir John, r.h. 

Dash. You find him disposed to marry, Sir 
John? 

Sir John. I hope so ; he wavers a little : but 
still I— 

Byg. Po ! I have no patience : my advice has 
been all lost upon you. I wish it may end well. 
A good morning. Sir John. [Going.) 

Dash. Mr. Bygrove, yours ; Sir John will de- 
fend you in your absence. 

Byg. If you will forget your friends in their 
absence, it is the greatest favour you can bestow 
upon them. [Exit^ l.h. 

Dash. Did I ever tell you what happened to 
him last summer at Tunbridge ? 

Sir John. Excuse me for the present. This 
light young man 1 I must step and talk with my 
lawyer. (^Crosses to l.h.) 

Dash. I'll walk part of the way with you. A 
strange medley this same Mr. Bygrove : with 
something like wit, he is always abusing wit. — 
You must know, last summer at Tunbridge — 

Sir John. Another time, if you please. 

[Exit J L,H. 

Dash. The story is worth your heaping : a 
party of us dined at the Sussex — 

(^Following Sir John.) 



20 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Enter Charles, r.h. 
Char. Mr. Dashwould ! Mr. Dashwould ! 

Re-enter Dashwould, l.h. 

Dash. What's the matter, Charles ? 
Char. My master desires you won't go. 

Enter Sir Harry, r.h. 

Sir H. Hey ? what going to leave us ? 

Dash. Only a step with Sir John. Strange 
vagaries in your master's head, Charles ! — Sir 
Harry ! going to wait upon Miss Neville, I sup- 
pose. She has beauty, and you have a heart. 

Sir H Pshaw ! there you wrong me now ! 
Why will you ? 

Dash. Very well ; be it so : I can't see to be 
sure ; but take my word for it, you will marry 
that girl. Come, I'll follow you. 

Sir H. I must not part with you : I had rather 
lose the whole college of physicians. [Exit, l.h. 

Dash. March on, Sir Harry .-(Twrm to Charles.) 
Did you ever see such a Baronet ? This fellow, 
Charles, is as ridiculous himself as any of them. 

[Exit, l.h. 

Char. Now have I but one mati in the house, 
and he will be fifty different men in a moment. 
Hurry ! hurry ! nothing but hurry ! Get me this ; 
get me that ; get me t'other. A poor servant 
does not know which way to turn himself in thi* 
hoi^e. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 21 



Enter Richard, r.h. 

Char. Well, Richard, what are you about ? 

Rich. Why a man in a whirlwind may as well 
tell what he is about. Going to order the coach- 
man to put up. He intends to change his dress, 
and walk to the Temple. [Exit., l.h. 

Char. What does he mean by talkmg of the 
Temple again ? I hope we are not going to 
take to our studies once more. I hate the law : 
there is not a footman in the Temple has a 
grain of taste. All mere lawyers ! They have 
not an idea out of the profession. 

Enter Robert, r.h. 

Rob. Richard ! Richard! where is he gone ? 

Char. What's in the wind now ? 

Rob. The wind's in another quarter. He has 
been writing verses as he calls them, ever since 
the company left him. Fie has torn a quire of 
paper, I believe, and now he wants the carriage 
directly. [Exit., l.h. 

Char. Run and order it. I had rather be a 
country curate, than go on in this manner. 
(Be// rings.) What is he at now ? 

Mil. ( Within.) r.h.) Charles : — who answers 
there ? * 

Char. Ay, now for the old work. 



'22 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



Enter Millamour, r.h. 

Mil. Is the chariot ready ? ^ 

Char. At the door, sir. 

Mil. Do you step to Mrs. Bromley's, and — 
perhaps it would be better to — No, do you step, 
Charles, and — you need not mind it — another 
time will do as well. [Exit^ r.h. 

Char. There again now ; this is the way from 
morning to night. 

Re-enter Millamour, r.h. 

Mil The sooner the better : I promised Sir 
John, and I will pay this visit. Lady Bell 
reigns sovereign of my heart. That vivacity 
of mind "• Quick as her eyes, and as unfixt as 
those." 

Char. She is by far preferable to her sister, 
your honour. 

Mil. Po ! you are illiterate in these matters. 
The sober graces of Lady Jane ! — Lady Bell 
advances like a conqueror, and demands your 
heart : Lady Jane seems unconscious of her 
charms, and yet enslaves you deeper. 

Char. Which of them does your honour 
think— 

Mil. Whiiji of 'em, Charles ? {Reads a paper.) 
" I look'd, and I sigh'd, and I wished I could 
speak." 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



Enter Robert, l.h. 

Rob. Captain Bygrove, sir. 
Mil. That's unlucky. I am not at home ; tell 
him I went out an hour ago. 

Enter Captain Bygrove, l.h. 

Mil My dear Bygrove, I longed to see you. 
But why that pensive air ? Still in love, I sup- 
pose. [Exeunt Char, and Rob. r.h. 

Capt. B. My dear Millamour, you have guess- 
ed it. I am in love, and glory in my chains. 

Mil. Shall I tell you a secret ? I suspect my- 
self, plaguily. Every thing is not as quiet here 
as it used to be. 

Capt. B. Indulge the happy passion. Let 
wits and libertines say what they will ; there is 
no true happiness but in the marriage state. 

Mil. Why I have thought much upon the sub- 
ject of late, and with a certain refinement, I 
don't know but a man may fashion a complying 
girl to his taste of happiness. Virtuous him- 
self, he confirms her in her virtue ; constant, he 
secures her fidelity : and by continmng the 
lover, instead of commencing the tyrant hus- 
Jband, he wins from her the sweet^J|exertion of 
xendemess and love. I shall nMP positively 
marry. Who is your idol ? My dear boy, im- 
part. 

Capt. B. There I beg to be excused. You 
know my father ? 



^4 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Mil Yes, I think 1 do. 

Capt. B. ! must not presume to think for my- 
self. I must contrive some stratagem to make 
him propose the match. Were it to move first 
from me, I should be obliged to decamp from ; 
before the town at once. 

Mil. I wish you success. My resolution is 
taken, and with the most amiable of her sex. 
She romps about the room like one of the gra- 
ces; and deals about her wit with such a hap- 
py negligence — 

Capt. B. An agreeable portrait, but mine is 
the very reverse. That equal serenity in all 
her ways ! Wit she has, but without ostenta- 
tion ; ^nd elegance itself seems the pure effect 
of na#re. 

Mil. {Aside.) I don't know whether that is not 
|;he ttufe character for a' wife. And pray, what 
progress have you made in her affections. 

Capi.JB. Enough to convince me that I am 
not quite^ unacceptable My dear Millamour, I 
had rath|l- fold that girl in my arms, than kiss 
his Majesty's hand for the first regiment of 
guards. 

Mil. J am a lost man, I shall most positively 
marry. * We will wonder at each others felMji*^ 
ty ; and be the envy of all our acquaintance^^ " 

^KKftnter Dashwould, l.h. J^"' 

Dash. {Crosses to Centre.) I am as good as my 
word, you see. Most noble Captain, your father 
was here this morning. A good agreeable old 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 25 

gentleman, and about as pleasant as a night 
mare. Millamonr, whom do you think I met 
since I saw you ? 

Mil. Whom? 

Dash. Our friend Beverley, just impo^d|f|^*^ 
from Paris, perfectl}^ frenchified, and aba^^ 
every thing in this country — '' Oh ! there is no 

breathing their English atmosphere. Roast 

beef and liberty will be the death of me." 

Mil. Ha, ha ! poor Beverley ! I saw him last 
summer, at Paris, dressed in the style' of an En- 
glish fox-hunter : he swore there wks not a mor- 
sel to eat in their country, and kept ao opera- 
singer upon beef-steaks and oyster-sauce. 

Dash. He has done his country grea||fc©nour 
abroad. ^P 

Capt. B. He will settle at home now ; he is 
going to be married. >v 

Dash. Yes, I hear hie is in love, and much 
good may it do him. I wish I may die, if I 
know so ridiculous a thing as love. — ''My life ! 
' — My soul ! — Hybla dwells upon her lips ; exta- 
sy and bliss ! blank verse- and pastoral non- 
sense !" In a little time, the man wonders what 
bewitched him ; an arm chair after dinner, and 
a box and dice till five in the morning, make all 
the comforts of his life. 
, Mil. Very true ! Love is a ridiM^us passion 
indeed. ^Hv 

Capt. B. Do you take up arms against me ? 
But a moment since, just as you came in, he 
was acknowledging to me — 

Mil No, not I, truly; I acknowledge nothing. 
3 * ' 



f6 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Marriage is not to my taste, I promise you. The 
handsome wife ! — she is all affectation ; routs, 
drums, hurricanes, and intrigue ! 

Dash. And the ugly ! she makes it up with 
good sense; pronounces upon wit; and talks you 
3ead with maxims, characters, and reflections. 

Mil. And the woman of high birth, she pro- 
duces her pedigree, as her patent for vice and 
folly. " Seven's the main," and away goes your 
whole fortune. 

Capt. B. Mere common place. 
Dash. And the tender maukin ! she doats upon 
you. " Don't drink any more, my dear ; you'll 
take cold near that window, my love ; pray don't 
talk gll^uch ; you'll flurry your spirits." — And 
thenfPBes you before company. 

Mil. So it is. Ha, ha, ha ! (^Both laugh.) 

Capt. B. You play finely into one another's 
hands. 

Mil. Now mark the champion of the sex ! 

Dash. Yes ; he'll throw down the gauntlet for 

'em {^Both laugh) 

Capt. B. Nay, decide it jouv own way. Since 

you won't hear, gentlemen, there is a clear stage 

for you. [Exit^ l.h. 

Dash. Fare ye well, most noble captain. A 

facetious companion ! did you ever hear him 

say any thkn|| 

Mil. H&ff/^n for it ; and my father would 
fain reduce me to the same condition with one 
of Mrs. Bromley's nieces. A good fine woman, 
Mrs. Bromley ! 

Dash, Has been ! Were she now to rub her 



KNOW YOUR OWN BUND. 27 

cheek with a white handkerchief, her roses and 
lilies would go to the clear starcher. 

Mil. Ha, ha ! and yet she sets up for the rival 
of her nieces. 

Dash. The young ladies are pretty well in 
their way too. Lady Bejl has a brisk volubility 
of nothing, that she plays the pretty idiot with : 
and Lady Jane, a sly piece of formality, ready 
•to go post for Scotland, with the first red-coat 
that asks her the question. We all dine at the 
widow''s to-day, are you to be with us ? 

Mil. Yes, to meet you : the party will be di- 
verting. 

Dash. Observe old Bygrove. He pronounces 
with rigour upon the conduct of onBk^^ 
hopes his own follies lie concealed. jH^Hpft 
.struggle is to escape detection. Mark biHWith 
the widow : you will see him sighing fbr his de- 
ceased wife and Mrs. Bromley's charms at the 
same time. One eye shall weep for the dead, 
and the other ogle the living. 

Mil. Ha, ha ! — And then Malvil laying siege 
to Miss Neville ! 

Dash. Miss Neville is the best of them. Mrs. 
Bromley has taken her into her house, as a poor 
relation, whom she pities ; and her pity is no 
more than the cruel art of tormenting an un- 
happy dependant upon her generosity. 

Mil. But she has generosity. She has promis- 
ed Miss Neville a fortune of five thousand 
pounds. 

Dash. And so the hook is baited for Malvil, 
The widow flings out that snare, to counteract 
Sir Harry. 



28 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Mil. Sir Harry ! 

Dash. Yes ; he is in love with Miss Neville ; 
and the best of the story is, he is afraid I shall 
think him ridiculous. If I say the word, and 
promise not to laugh at him, he breaks his mind 
at once. Miss Neville sees clearly that he ad- 
mires her, and of course will never listen to 
Malvil. The self-interested designs of that fel- 
low shall be disappointed. 

Mil. Admirable ! thou art a whimsical fellow. 
Come, I attend you. A pleasant group they 
are all together. It is as you say. 

Our passions sicken, and our pleasures cloy ; 

A fool to laugh at, is the height of joy, 

^fljll [Exeunt^ L.H. 



END OF ACT I. 



..* 



ACT 11. 

SCENE I. — A Room in Mrs. Bromley'^s House. 
Enter Mrs. Bromley and Miss Neville, r.h. 

Mrs. B. Why, to be sure, Neville, there is 
something in what you say : one is so odd, and 
so I don't know how in a morning. 

Miss JV. Certainly, madam ; and then people 
of your turn, whose wit overflows in conversa- 
tion, are liable to waste of spirits, and the alte- 
ration appears sooner in them. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 2& 

BIrs. B. So it does : you observe very pretti- 
ly upon things. Heigho ! I am as faded as an 
old lutestring to-day. 

Miss JV. No, indeed, madam, you look very 
tolerably, considering. 

Mrs. B. [Aside.) Considering ! she grows pert, 
I think. — I am glad you think me not altogether 
intolerable. 

Miss JV. Ma'am ! 

Mrs. B. Tolerably ! she is Lady Bell's prime 
agent. {Aside.) Has Sir Harry given you hopes 
lately ? 

Miss K. Sir Harry ! I really don't understand 
why he is mentioned. 

Mrs. B. Do you think it will be a match ? 
And have you made up your quarrel with Lady 
Bell ? {Sits down.) 

Miss JV. The sweetness of her disposition re- 
conciles every thing. 

Mrs. B. And is Millamour reconciled to Lady 
Bell? 

Miss JV. There was only a slight mistake 
which I explained. 

Mrs. B. Oh ! you explained ? that was pru- 
dently done ; I am glad to hear this : and do you 
think he loves her ? Tell me, tell me all. 
Why, why do you think he loves her ? 

JWm JV. He cannot be insensible of her me- 
rit; and the other day he asked me if you were 
likely to approve of his proposing for Lady 

Mrs. B. And you told him.— -Well! — what did 
vou tell him ? 



30 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Miss JV. That you, no doubt, would be ready 
to promote the happiness of so amiable a young 
lady. 

Mrs. B. You told him so ? (Rises and walks to 
R.H.) And so you are turned match-maker ? you 
busy yourself in my family ! — Hey ! — Mrs. Start- 
up ! you are dizened out, I think ; my wardrobe 
has supplied you. 

Miss JV. Your pardon, ma'am ; T had these 
things in the country, when you first shewed so 
much goodness to me. 

Mrs. B. : Crosses to r.h.) What airs ! you know 
I hate to see creatures give themselves airs. 
Was not I obliged to provide you with every 
thing? 

Miss JV. You have been very kind ; I always 
acknowledge it. 

Mrs. B. Acknowledge it ! Does not every 
body know it ? 

jidiss JSf. Yes, ma'am, 1 dare say every body 
does know it. 

Mrs. B. That's maliciously said : I can spy a 
sneer upon that false face. You suppose I have 
made my brags. That's what lurks in your am- 
biguous meaning. I deserve it : deliver me from 
poor relations,. 

Miss JV. (Jiside.) Now the storm begins ! — I 
am sure I have said nothing to offend you. I am 
helpless, it is true, but your relation, and by that 
lie a gentlewoman still. 

Mrs. B. I made you a gentlewoman. Did not 
I take you up in the country, where you lived 
In the parsonage-house, you and your sister, 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 31 

with no other company to converse with, than 
the melancholy tombstones, where you read the 
high and mighty characters of John Hodge, and 
Deborah his wife ? While your father's misera- 
ble horse, worn to a shadow with carrying dou- 
ble to the next market-town, limped about, with 
a dull alms-begging eye in quest of the wretch- 
ed sustenance, that grew thriftily between the 
graves ? Did not I take you out of your mi- 
sery? 

Miss JV. You did, ma'am, (hi a softened tone.) 

Mrs. B. Did not I bring you home to the great 
house ? 

Miss JV. You did, ma'am. ( Weeps aside.) 

Mrs. B. And I am finely thanked for it. Warm 
the snake, and it will turn upon you, 

{Crosses to r.h.) 

Miss JV. I cannot biear to be insulted thus ! 

(Aside.) 

Mrs. B. So ! your spirit is humbled, is it ? 

Miss JV. Give me leave to tell you, madam, 
that when people of superior fortune, whom 
Providence has enabled to bestow obligations, 
claim a right, from the favours they confer, to 
tyrannise over the hopes and fears of a mind in 
distress ; they exercise a cruelty more barbarous 
than any in the whole history of human malice. 

Mrs. B. Is this your gratitude ? 

Miss JV. I could be thankful for happiness, if 
you permitted me to enjoy it : but when I find 
myself, under colour of protection, made the 
sport of every sudden whim ; I have a spirit, 
madam, that can distinguish between real bene- 
volence, and the pride of riches. ( Weeps.) 



32 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Mrs. B. 1 fancy I have been too violent. M-^ 
ter all this sour, I must sweeten her a littl,e.» 
{Aside.) Come, dry up your tears : you know'- 
Pm goodnatured in the main ; I am only jealouSv 
that you don't seem to love me. \i 

Miss JY. Were that left to my own heart, eve-'^ 
ry principle there would attach me to you. But • 
to be dunned for gratitude — 

Mrs. B. You are right ; the observation is ve- 
ry just : I am in the wrong. — Come, let us be 
friends, I have a great regard for you, Neville. I 
— {Crosses to l.h.) — The creature should visit 
with me, only she looks so well. {Aside.) — How t. 
did I not hear Mr. MalviPs voice ? yes, it is he ;: 
I am visible ; I am at home ; shew him in 
Walk in, Mr. Malvil. 

Enter Malvil, l.h. 

Mai. To a person of sentiment, like you, ma- 
dam, a visit is paid with pleasure. 

Mrs. B. You are very good to me. Neville, 
do you step and bring me the letter that lies 
upon my table. — [Exit Miss Neville^ r.h.] — I am 
obliged to go out this morning. — {Smiles at Mal- 
vil.) — She looks mighty well ; I have been speak- 
ing for you : our scheme will take. Sir Harry 
will not be able to rival you ; she will be your 
reward for all your services to me. 

Mai. Your generosity is above all praise, and 
so I was saying this moment to Mr. Bygrove : 
he is coming to wait on you. 

Mrs. B. That's unlucky : I wanted to have 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 33 

some talk with you : well, have you seen Mil- 
lamour ? 

MaL Yes, and I find him apt: I have hopes of 
succeeding. 

Mrs. B. Hush ! — not so loud ! — you think me 
mad, I believe. May I hazard myself with that 
wild man ? 

MaL Your virtue will reclaim him. I have a 
friendship for Millamour, and that is my reason 
for counteracting the designs of my friend By- 
grove. — Mr. Bygrove has desired me to speak 
favourably of him to jour ladyship. 

Mrs. B. Oh ! but he kept his last wife mewed 
up in the country ; I should certainly expire in 
the country. 

MaL He is a very worthy man. I am sorry 
to see some oddities in him ; but that is very 
common in life. Vices always border upon vir- 
tues. Dashwould says, — but there is no believ- 
ing his slander ; — he says Mr. Bygrove's sorrow 
for his deceased wife, is all a mere artifice, to 
weep himself into the good graces of another. 
But I don't believe it. 

Mrs. B.^ I hear him coming. Do you go and 
take care ^of your intei:est with Neville. 

MaL I obey your commands (^Crosses to K.vi.^ 

Mrs. B. I shall make her fortune five thou- 
sand. Be sure you speak to Millamour. Go, 
go ; success attend you. [Exit MaL r.h. 

■ ^ Enter Bygrove^ h.Ji. 

Byg. (^Bowing.) Madam ! 
4 



M KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Mrs. B. This attention to one in my forlorH 
state is so obliging — 

Byg. It is a favour on your part to receive a 
lost, dejected, spiritless — 

Mrs. B I admire your sensibility, Mr. By- 
grove. That tender look, which you are for- 
ever casting back to a beloved, but irrecover-. 
able object, shews so amiable a sorrow ! oh ! 
there is something exquisite in virtuous affec- 
tion. I have found a pleasing indulgence in 
contemplations of that sort. 

Byg. I have had my trials too. Heigho ! 

Mrs. B. I beg your pardon : I am recalling 
your afflictions : you should not give way ; you 
should struggle a little. Heaven knows how I 
have struggled. I have appeared, indeed, with 
an air, but it was all struggling. — [Looks and 
smiles.) — I could divert you this morning. Do 
you kno^ that your son is in love with Lady 
Jane ? 

Byg. In love ! has he said any thing? 

Mrs. B. I don't know as to that ; but I can 
see what is lurking in his heart. He is above- 
stairs now ; I don't half like his choice : Lady 
Bell is the proper match for him, and her for- 
tune is the best. An estate, you know must 
come to her, by the family settlement. You 
should direct his choice. 

Byg. This comes of his presuming to think 
for himself Has he declared himself? 

Mrs. B. I fancy not ; but he hinted something 
to me, about a match in my family. 

Byg. (Looks at her and smiles.) Why. a match 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 35 

in your family has diverted me of late. — Heigho ! 
— It is the only thing which has entertained me 
for a long time. 

Mis. B. I have had my fancies too. I should 
like to talk further, but I am engaged abroad 
this morning. Can I set you down ? Will you 
trust yourself with me ? 

Byg. You encourage a smile, madam. 

Mrs. B. We shall be the town talk : but let 
them talk ; what need we mind ? I will just 
step and say a word to Neville. — You should 
not be too solitary. 

Byg. So my friends tell me. 

Mrs. B. I shall be with 3'Ou in a moment. 
(^Going^ R.H. returns.) Do you know that we are 
very like each other in our tempers ? After all, 
that is the true foundation of lasting friendships. 
Poor dear Mr. Bromley ! — (^Going^ returns.) — 
It was similitude of temper brought us t9gether ; 
and if ever I could be prevailed upon again, 
similitude of temper must do it. Well, you 
have diverted me this morning. Here comes 
j^our son, talk to him now. [Exit, r.h, 

Enter Captain Bygrove, r.h. 

Byg. Well, sir, what brings you to this house ? 

Capt. B. A morning visit, sir, merely to kill 
half an hour. 

Byg. There is nothing I hate so much as hy- 
pocrisy. I knoAv your errand : you must pre- 
tend to be in love. 

Capt. B. I, sir ! 



36 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Byg. What have you been saying to Lady 
Jane ? I thought I had cautioned you against 
presuming to think for yourself. 

Capt. B. You have been very kind that way. 

Byg. See what becomes of your friend Milla- 
mour's being left to his own discretion. The 
ass in the fable, gives but a faint image of him. 

Capt. B. And if I, sir, to avoid his irresolu- 
tion — 

Byg. You are in the opposite extreme : he 
thinks too much and never decides. You never 
think at all, and so resolve without judgment. 
Lady Bell is the person I wish to see you mar- 
ried to : — go, and pay your addresses to her. I 
will settle that matter for you : you may then 
marry the person, to whom you have not degrad- 
ed yourself, by pining, sighing, love verses, and 
I know not what. 

Capt. B. This is all unaccountable to me, sir. 
If you will but hear me — 

Enter Malvil, r.h. 

Byg. No, sir, no ; I won't allow you to fetch 
a single sigh, till I say the word ; when I give 
leave, you may then go and sigh till your heart 
is ready to break. I'll hear no more : no parly- 
ing with me. Leave the house this moment. 

Capt. B. I obey. \Crosses and exit, l.h. 

Mai. I interrupt you. 

Byg. No, no ; I am glad to see you. Well, 
have you had any opportunity with the widow ? 

Mai. I have ; she surprises me a little : she 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 37 

has dropped the mask. I did not think she had 
been so eager to marry. We had some talk 
about you. You know my heart : I am always 
true to my friends : I see but one difficulty : she 
will never agree to live in the country. 

Byg. The lover need not dispute that point, 
whatever the husband may do hereafter. 

Enter Mrs. Bromley and Miss Neville, r.h. 

Mrs. B. I beg your pardon, gentlemen. Ne- 
ville, mind whRt I say to you : don't let those 
giddy girls go out in my absence ; to walk in the 
Green Park, or ruri to hideous painters, under 
pretence of seeing odious pictures, that they 
may have an interview with more odious origi- 
. nals. Keep thern at home ; I will reward your 
pains. AUons^ Mr. By grove. — [Exit Bygrove^ l.h.] 
—Come, Mr. Malvil. 

Mai. Had not I better stay, and — 

Mrs. B. No, no ; come now, you may return 
to her. [Exit.) l.h. 

Mai. {To Miss Neville) You see that I am 
torn from you ; but I shall return as soon as pos- 
sible. [Exit^ L.I-T. 

Miss JV. Tyrannical woman ! some virtue she 
has ; but they are overshadowed by their oppo- 
site qualities. What does Lady Bell mean by 
talking to me of Sir Harry ? — She does it— I 
know her goodness — she does it to soften afflic- 
tion, and, if possible, divert a mind depressed 
with sorrow. Sir Harry never threw away a 
thought on me. He behaves, indeed, with markr 
4 * 



38 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

ed civility ; but I dont know what to think of 
him. I must not aspire too high ; no, I have 
no pretensions. *-. 

Enter Lady Jane, r.h. 

Lady Jane. Miss N^vil^/B, I am very angry 
with you. What's the matter ? Has any thing 
made you uneasy ? ^ ' 

Miss JV. No : I am not YemarJcable for high 
spirits, you know. 

Lady Jane. Why would not y^u give us your 
company ? Kow can you oe so- cross ? That sis- 
ter of mine is the veriest madcap"! 

Miss JV. Lady Bell is rather lively to be sure. 

Lady Jane. But when she once begins, she ha- 
zards every thing, and talks sometimes like a 
very libertine. ^^ 

Miss JV. The overflowing of gaiety, and good 
humour. 

Lady Jane. I wish she ♦would restrain her- 
self a little. Madam La Rouge is with her : she 
has the sweetest point eyes ever beheld. I was 
endeavouring to cheapen it, .but La^y Bell was 
so troublesome ; she called me a thousand prudes, 
and will have it that notliing runs in my head 
but a lover. As I live amd* breathe, the giddy 
romp is coming. You must take my partx 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



39 



Enter Lady Bell, ^.h. 
AIR. — Lad^ 

Yes, Vm in love, I ott^t now, 
And Celia has nndmie me ; 

And yet, I sweat^Ic^l^ tell hota, 
The pleasing pu^e stole on me. 



What would I give-to IieS 



; S9me miserable swain 
"" Belinda has undone 



"Ination is a blessing, 
^"Bell. 
Ht then I am not talked 



talk in that stile < 
me ;" — charming 

Miss JW A liv^ 
and you are happy, C^ 

Lady Bell I am so ; ^ 
of; I am losin^ll mj'i 

Lady Jane. \^hy, you bold creature ! I hate 
to hear you tallOwith so much intrepidity. 

Lady Bell. Prutt^i^y ! my dear sister, down- 
right prudery ! -Mim mA for making mysteries 
of what all the world feifcws. 

Lady Jane. And how do 1 make mysteries, 
pray ? /-\ 

Lady BellsJWhy flrou confident thing! PU 
prove it agaiim"you. \\ 

Lady Jane. But^haH what? what will you 
prove ? ^^ 

Lady Bell. That you are ready to jump out of 
your little wits for a husband, my demure, so- 
ber sister. — [Crosses to centre.) — Miss Neville, a 
poet is not more eager for the success of a new 
comedy, nor one of his brother poets more de- 
sirous to see it fail, than that girl is to throw 
herself into the arms of a man. 



4U KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Lady Janr. All scandal, sister. 

Lady Bell. Miss Neville shall be judge. 

Lady Jane. Your story is mere invention. 

Lady Bell. Was there ever such a wrangler ? 

Lady Jane. You'll not naake good your words. 

Lady Bell. (^Pats her hand.) Hold your tongue.^ 
miss, will you ? 

Lady Jane. Very well, go on. 

Lady Bell. Will you have done ? Now, mind, 
Miss Neville. She does not want to be married, 
she says. The other night, my young madam, 
whose thoughts are always composed and even, 
went to sleep as soon as we got to bed, and then 
her busy imagination went to work with all the 
viyacity of an intriguing chamber-maid. 

Lady Jane. And how can you tell that, pra}'^ ? 

Lady Bell. Out of your own mouth you shall 
be judged. Miss Neville, she talked in her sleeep, 
like a beauty in a side box, and then fell a sing- 
ing. 

JVb, Jio ; he is true., and I believe ; 
He look'^d^ he stgh''d.^ he can''t deceive ; 
JVo, no ; I have conquered ; he is mine ; 
My heart is touch''d, and I resign. 

Lady Jane. Oh ! you scurrilous creature. 

Miss JV. Fairly caught, Lady Jane. 

Lady Jane. All odious slander; you judge of 
me by yourself. 

Lady Bell. I do so. I mean to be married, 
and am frank enough to own it. But you may 
let " concealment feed on your damask cheek." 
My damask cheek, I hope, was made for other 
purposes. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 41 

Lady Jane, Gracious ! there is no bearing tliis. 
What a mad girl 3^ou are ! 

Lady Bell. Not in the least. A natural cha- 
racter. One would not, to be sure, tell a hide- 
ous man that one loves him ; but when one has 
encouraged him by degrees, and drawn him on 
like a new glove, and perhaps done him a mis- 
chief in the doing of it, why then — 

Lady Jane. What then ? 

Lady Bell. One would draw him off again, and 
may be ask a pretty fellow to help a body ; and 
then the wretch looks so piteous, and kneels at 
your feet, then rises in a jealous fit. I take my 
everlasting farewell ; never to return ; no, ne- 
ver ; what to her? who encouraged me ? encour- 
aged him ? who promised ? broke her promise ? 
The treacherous, faithless, dear deluding — then 
returns in an instant ; hands dangling ; eyes im- 
ploring : tongue faultering : Lady Bell — Lady Bell 
— when you know that I adore you. And 1 burst 
into a fit of laughter in his face. Oh ! that's my 
joy, my triumph, my supreme delight. 

[Crosses to r.h.) 

Lady Jane. And is not there a kind of cruel- 
ty in all this ? 

Lady Bell. Oh ! your very humble servant, 
my sweet Lady Graveairs. Cruelty ! The dif- 
ference between you and me, sister, is this ; you 
deny your love to your female friends, and own 
it to the man ; now I deny it to him, but among 
ourselves, I fairly own that Miss Neville is not 
more impatient to be married to Sir Harry, than 



I 



42 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND 

J\Hss N. Who, I ? Spare, me, I beg of j^out. 
Why Sir Harry ? 

Lady Jane. Now, now, your turn is come. 
Never spare her, sister. 

Miss JV. You must excuse me. I am not in 
spirits for all this raillery. {Crosses to r.h.) 

Lady Jane. You shan't leave us. 

Miss A''. Give me leave : 1 beg you will. I'll 
go and talk to Madam La Rouge. Perhaps I may 
succeed for you. [Exit^ r.h. 

Lady Jane. Well, if you must go. How you 
run on, sister ! And are you really in love ? 

Lady Bell. Over head and ears. 

Lady Jane. With whom ? 

Lady Bell. Not with captain Bygrove : how 
alarmed you are ! With Millamour, sister. 

Lady Jane. Fix that roving temper, if you can : 
he will be on his knees to you, and the first pair 
of black eyes that enters the room will be through 
his heart. 

Lady Bell. As to that, I give myself very little, 
trouble : but if I could once catch him paying his 
adoration to me, my aunt Bromley does not rise 
and sink poor Bliss Neville's spirits with such 
exquisite skill in the art of tormenting, as I 
should his I should use him as the men do 
their punch : a little more sweet, a little more 
sour ; a little more spirit : more acid again ; 
then perhaps say it's good for nothing ; and then, 
perhaps — 

Lady Jane. What ? 

Lady Bell. Sip it up at last, as you would do 
at first. You wicked girl, how could you ask me 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 43 

such a question ? La ! what am I about ? I have 
a thousand things to do. 

Enter Miss Neville and Madam La Rouge, r.h. 

La Rou. Ah ! my lady ! always so gay ! En- 
glish climate no effect upon you. De manieres 
de Paris for all de vorl. En verite vous est char- 
manfe, 

Lady Bell. Oh ! Madam La Rogue, you say 
such polite things : but you rob me of all my 
money. My sister is rich : you had better deal 
with her. Sister, you'll be married before me. 

{^Sings.^ 

jVo, Jio, he is true^ and I believe^ <^c. [Exit, r.h. 

Lady Jane. Was ever any thing so crazy ? 

[Exit., R.H. 

La B.OU. Mademoiselle, I tell you, persuade 
my lady to have de lace, and you come to my 
house, me give you ver pretty present. 

AUss JV. Oh ! you have a national talent for 
applying a little bribery. 

La Rou. Ah ! Monsieur Malvil. 

Enter Malvil, l.h.d. 

Mai. Madam La Rouge, I did not expect this 
pleasure. 

La Rou. It is always pleasure to see mes amis ; 
- — You have ver good choice — Sir Harry have 
taste as well as you. Mademoiselle, you are 
ver great favourite. 

■Mi$9^ JV. A favourite ! keep your vivacity for 



44 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

some other subject: don't make me the town 
talk. 

Ln Ron. Monsieur, you lose ail your time. 
{Goes to him^ and speaks low.) You wait de for- 
tune from madam Bromley : Sir Harry will take 
her vidout any money at all. Vat you slow for ? 

J\Jal. Are the apartments kept ready at your 
house ? 

La Rou. De apartment it is ready. You take 
it two, tree weeks ago, and pay de rent for noting 

1 leave you vid de lady ; and I go mind mes 

affaires. Bon voyage. [JCxif, l.h. 

Mai. I have disengaged myself, to have the 
honour of attending you. 

Miss JV. Your attention is thrown away. Did 
not I hear Mr. Millamour's voice ? 

Mai. Yes ; he came with me ; he is gone into 
the next room to pay his compliments to Lady 
Jane. You look chagrined, what has disturbed 
you? 

Miss JV. The old story ; Mrs. Bromley's eter- 
nal whims. 

Mai. Your delicacy charms me : it has fixed 
me yours. 1 long for nothing so much, as to 
see you out of her power. They have a strange 
report about town : people will be talking ; the 
whisper goes that Mr. Bygrove, amidst all his 
grief, is slily in a hurry for another wife. Mrs. 
Bromley, they say, encourages him : and at the 
same time has a design upon my friend Miilamour. 

Bliss JV. The world is not always wrong.. 

Mai. Malice will be busy ; and does not spare 
the young ladies. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 45 

Miss M\ If any thing is said to their disadvan- 
tage, believe me, they do not deserve it. 

Mai. I dare say not : I don't think they are 
too forward. 1 am sorry to see, in one of the 
papers to-day, a character of Sir Harry, not at 
all favourable. His little follies, his whi^s, 
and caprices one does not mind : he may walk 
in Dashwould's train as long as he pleases ; that 
only makes him ridiculous. But it grieves me 
to hear that perfidy stains his character, and, as 
I am told the worst of perfidy ; the ruin of 
beauty and innocence is his ruling passion. 

Miss JY. This is very odd : somebody has been 
at the trouble of sending me an anonymous let- 
ter to that very effect : and why to me ? I am 
not able to decypher. 

Mai. I don't like anonymous letters. In gene- 
ral they aim at mischief, but this perhaps, is 
meant as a caution to you : it must be a friend 
that sent it. Mrs. Bromley, 1 know, has no 
opinion of Sir Harry. His designs, with regard 
to you, she does not think honourable. My 
heart interests me for you. You know I am all 
heart. The plan which Mrs. Bromley has pro- 
posed ! — Hark ! I think I hear Miilamour com- 
ing. I'll follow you up stairs. 

Miss JV. O, sir ! you have frightened me out 
of my wits. [^3:2?, r.h.s.e. 

Mai. She loves Sir Harry, I see ; and yet she 
shan't slip through my hands. I can set on Mrs. 
Bromley to lead her a weary life, and if I can 
prevail upon Miilamour to renounce Lady Bell, 
and marry the widow, my business is done. 
5 



46 KNOW YOUR OWN MINI). 

When Miss Neville is heartily tormented by 
Mrs. Bromley, affliction softens the mind, and I 
may then decoy her away, and stand upon terms 
with the family. But Dashwould's wit will fly 
about. No matter : he is a sad scoundrel, and 
does not mind how he murders reputations. So ! 
here comes Millamour. 1 must get clear of him, 
and talk further with Miss Neville. 

Enter Millamour, r.h. 

Mil. From this moment I blot all other wo- 
men from my memory. Malvil, wish me joy. 
The perplexity of choice is now at an end. 

Mai Why, what has happened ? 

Mil. Lovely Lady Jane. 
" And yield her charms of mind with sweet delay.'"' 
I can't stay to tell you now. 

Mai. Nor will I stay to interrupt your rap- 
tures. You know, I wish you success. 

[Exit, R.H.S.E. 

Enter Lady Bell, r.h. 

Lady B. (^Reading.) 

Who yields too soon^ must soon her lover lose. 
Would you restrain him long ? then long refuse. 
Mil. {Looks at her and smiles.) There is some- 
thing commanding in that air of vivacity. 
Lady B. {Reads.) 

Oft at the door let him for entrance wait, 

There let him in— 

How ! Millamour here ! how could you surprise 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 47 

me so ? You horrid thing ! how long have you 
been here ? 

Mil. Been, madam? — I have been — I have 
been in the next room, paying my respects to 
your sister. 

Liady Bell. And never inquired for poor Ladv 
Bell ? 

Mil Your ladyship wrongs me. You are 
doing injustice to your own charms : they can 
never be forgot. 

Lady Bell. I see how it is : the other day you 
was listed in my service, and now a deserter to 
my sister ! you are right, you would have been 
upon hard duty with me. 

Mil. Any duty but a forlorn hope would be — 

Lady Bell. Hope ! — why sure, you would not 
have had the intolerable assurance, to entertain 
the smallest degree of hope. My sister, I sup- 
pose, has given you some hope. Ay ! that's her 
way : she moves by settled rules, and shines with 
equal light. Now I — I am a mere comet, I 
blaze of a sudden ; dazzle for a while, then wheel 
away, and am thought of no more. 

(^Crosses io l.h.^ 

Mil. That gaiety of her's is charming. [Jlside.) 
The impression your ladyship makes 

Lady Bell. Words ; mere words ; — no ; I am 
a strange piece of wild nature : never the same 
for two minutes together. Now, my sister, she 
is a Prussian blue, holds her colour, and is al~ 
w^ays the same.-I-I am a more changeable silk— I 
shift about, and display my wit, and my folly^ so 
curiously blended, that no body can tell where 



1 



48 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

one begins, or the other ends. I am not worth 
your notice. (^Sings., and crosses to r.h.) 

Mil (^Looking at her.) She has described her- 
self admirably ; without variety, a woman is a 
downright piece of insipidity. 

Lady Bell. Yes, I have my whims. Never 
the same for two minutes together. Now I love 
to give a scope to folly, and the men say, " curse 
catch her, she pleases more, when in the wrongs 
than other women when they are in the right." 
Then good sense is the word ; and the next mo- 
ment I can't bear the fatigue of thinking ; why 
won't somebody write a comedy to divert me ? 
Then all spirit, and I long to lead up the ball. 
Ladies^ like variegated tulips^ show 
''Tis to their weakness all their charms they owe, 
(^Sings, and crosses to l.h.) 

Mil. [Aside.) Lady Jane is mere mediocrity 
compared^to iier. 

Lady Bell. Lord ! I run on a strange rate. 
Yours, Mr. Millamour : au re voir. (Crosses to r.h.) 

Mil. A moment longer : you must not leave 
me : You possess my heart : possess it without a 
rival. 

Lady Bell. Hey ! what's the matter now ? 

Mil. Do not trifle with a passion sincere as 
mine. I adore jou.^ my Lady Bell ; adore your 
matchless charms ; thus on my knees adore. 

Lady Bell. Stay, stay ; let me see what the 
poet says, [Reads quick.) 

Oft at your door let him for entrance wait, 
There let him kneel., and threaten and entreat. 
There, stay there ; don't offer to stir. Now put 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 49 

up both 3'^our hands, and pra}'^, pray, have com- 
passion, Lady Bell. [Exit laughing, r.h. 
Mil. She flies disdainful from her lover's view, 
Yet looks and bids him, as she flies, pursue. 
[Exit, RJI. 



END OF ACT il. 



ACT III. 



SCENE I. — An Apartment at Mrs. Bromley'^s. 
Enter Lady Jane, and Capt. Bygrove, r.h. 

Lady Jane. And laid his commands upon you 
to address my sister ? 

Capt. B. Most peremptorily. 

Lady Jane. You have obeyed him, I hope. 

Capt. B. You know your power too well ; you 
know that I am devoted to you, and that my 
happiness depends upon the promise you have 
made me. 

Lady Jane. There, that is always the way 
with you men : every thing we say, is construed 
into a promise. 

Capt. B. And have not you promised ? 

Lady Jane. {Looks at him, and smiles.) Need 
I answer that question ? How easily frightened 
you are ! but you have some reason to be alarm- 
3* 



i?0 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND, 

ed. Millamour has been on his knees to me, 
breathing such raptures. 

Capt. B. Ay ! — who has set him on ? — what 
can he at the bottom of this ? — And have you 
listened to him ? — Here comes Dashwould ; he 
perhaps can explain. 

Lady Jane. He will only laugh at us ; and so 
I'll make my escape. (Going.) 

Capt. B. Not to hear Millamour again, I hope, 
{Takes her hand.) 

Lady Jane. Well, well, to purchase my liber- 
ty, you need not fear. I have received his 
vows, delivered with such ardour !— how terrifi- 
ed you look ! — I have listened to him, to alarm 
my sister with an idea of Millamour's growing 
passion for me. If her jealousy is once touch- 
ed, it may fix her resolution. At present, she 
is as volatile as Millamour himself. 

Enter Dashwould, r.h. 

D&sh. As volatile as Millamour? what can that 
be ? 1 never knew any thing that would bear a 
comparison. 

Lady Jane. What think you of my sister ? 

Dash. Lady Bell has her whims. 1 left her 
above stairs, in close conference with Milla- 
mour ; he has deserted your ladyship already, Mrs. 
Bromley will be the next, I hope : your father, 
Captain, would grieve more for that, than for 
Ms deceased wife. 

Lady Jane. And then Miss Neville's turn may 
^pme. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 51 

Dash. Oh ! no. To sport with her would be 
inhumanity. But a brisk widow, is fair game. 

Capt. B. Yes, and it may help to cure my 
father of his folly. 

Lady Jane. It would be sport, but I despair of 
it. Well, there's a gentleman wants your ad- 
vice, and so I'll leave you together. 

[Crosses^ and exit., r.h. 

Capt. B. My dear Dashwould, you must assist 
me. 

Dash. What distresses you ? 

Capt. B. My evil genius is at work. You 
know what my father has resolv'd upon. Lady 
Bell is the person he chooses for me. 

Dash. I know all that business : a counterplot 
of the widow's fertile brain, to disappoint Lady 
Bell, and wreak her malice on Millamour. 

Capt. B. But the malice falls on me only. 
Why will not Millamour know his own mind ? 
Lady Bell loves him ; I know she does. I am 
thwarted in the tenderest point ; what must be 
done ? 

Dash. Do as they would have you : you en- 
sure success. Millamour's jealousy takes fire 
upon the first alarm, and while the passion holds, 
he will have vigour enough to act decisively. 

Capt. B. May I hazard the experiment ? 

Dash. It's a sure card. Take my advice. 

Enter Miss Neville, r.h. 

Miss JV. Mrs. Bromley's coach has just stop- 
ped at the door : had not you better st«p up 
stairs, gentlemen ? 



b% KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



Enter Sir Harry, r.h. 

Sir Har. Dashwould, you are absent too long, 
They are all as dull as a funeral, above stairs. 

Dash. {Aside to Capt. B.) How the baronet 
follows Miss Neville from room to room I — Come, 
Captain, I'll play a game of picquet with you 
before dinner — Allans ! [Exit with Capt. B. r.h. 

Sir Har. If I might have the liberty, ma'am, 
to— 

Miss JV, Another time, if y^u please, Sir Har- 
ry. Mrs. Bromley is coming; I hear her voice. 

Sir Har. And you promise me the hearing ? 

Miss JV. You are entitled to it sir. I beg you'll 
leave me now. 

Sir H. 1 obey your commands ; I am gone : 
you'll remember. [Exit^ r.h. 

Miss N. Here she comes ; and I think in good 
humour. 

Enter Mrs. Bromley, l.h. 

Mrs. B. Oh ! I am heartily tired. I have been 
paying visits to people who have never been 
let into my house, and who, I hope, will never 
be at home for me. I hate them all, but out of 
civility, we must keep up an acquaintance. 
Where are the girls ? Has any body been here ? 

Miss JV. Mr. Millamour, ma'am, and the rest 
of the gentlemen that dine here : they are all 
above stairs. 

Mrs. B. Stupidity ! did I not give orders- 
How long has Millamour been here ? 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 53 

Miss JV. About an hour. 

Mrs. B. With Lady Bell, I suppose — Thou 
base ingratitude ! and Sir Harry is here too, I 
reckon. Does your match go on? You shall 
go back to the country, I promise you. You'll 
be the ruin of those girls. They shall have no 
visitors when my back is turned. Pll gi^e or- 
ders to all the servants this very moment. 

{Goings L.H.) 

Enter Sir John Millamour, l.h. 

Sir John. To see Mrs. Bromley looking so 
Ivell— 

Mrs. B. You are very polite, sir. Business 
calls me now. Sir John ; I beg your pardon. 

[Crosses.^ and exit, l.h. 

Sir John. Has my son been here to-day ? 

Miss JV. He is above stairs with Lady Bell, sir. 

Mrs. B. ( Within, l.h.) Miss Neville, Neville, 
I say. 

Miss JV. You'll excuse me. Sir John ; what 
can she want ? [Crosses, and exit, l.h. 

Sir John. This visit portends some good, I 
hope ; I shall be happy if he has declared him- 
self, I'll step and see what he is about. 

[Crosses to l.h. 

Enter Millamour, r.h. 

Mil. Exquisite ! lovely angel ! 
Sir John. Well ! — how ! what ! 
Mil. I beg your pardon, sir, I am not at lei- 



54 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

sure ; I am in the third region ; and can't descend 
to the languag-e of the nether world. 

Sir John. Then you are in love, George. 

Mil. She is a sister of the graces, and surpass*- 
es the other three. I am fixed ; unalterably 
fixed ; and am going about the marriage articles 
directly. 

Sir John. They are at my lawyer's, ready en- 
grossed, and only wait for the lady's name to fill 
up the blanks. 

Mil. I know it, sir ; I must step for them ; I 
have it through my heart : I feel it here : I am 
your humble servant, sir, (^Going., l.h.) 

Sir John, No, no, do you stay here ; I'll step 
for Mr. Copyhold. The writings shall be here 
in ten minutes. [Crosses, and exit., l.h, 

Mil. The sooner the better, sir. 

Let those love now, who never lov^d before ; 
Let those who always lov'^d, now love the more. 
Loll, tol lol. [Sings.) 

Enter Malvil, l.h. 

Mai. Bravo ! you seem in prodigious spirits. 

Mil. I am so : I am happy in myself, and hap- 
py in my friends, and happy in every circum- 
stance, and in tip-top spirits, and — my dear Mal- 
vil, yours down to the ground. 

Mai. Methinks I sympathize with you. When 
our friends are happy, the sensation is well call- 
ed a fellow feeling. 

Mil. Malvil, I thank you ; your turm of mind 
is formed for lasting friendship. WitK Dash- 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 55 

would it is all dissipation and giddy mirth, the 
mere bubble of pleasure. To you, I may talk 
seriously. The topic of the day is enough for 
Dashwould. I can now tell you, that I shall be 
happy for life. But for Dashwould, I should 
have been settled long ago. That fellow has 
led me into a thousand errors. 

MaL He has his admirers, and not without 
reason. He thinks me his enemy. Dashwould, 
notwithstanding all his faults, does hit the mark 
sometimes. I don't usually laugh at his plea- 
santry ; I don't like to encourage him too 
much : but it must be owned, he is often right. 
Behind his back I cannot help being diverted by 
him. He has a quick insight into characters. 

Mil. No want of penetration there. 

MaL He is a shrewd observer. 

Mil Nobody more so. 

Mai. If he has a regard for any body, it is for 
you. You are the only man I never heard him 
speak ill of. A match with Lady Bell is not to 
his mind. He talked seriously on the subject. 
Has not he told you ? 

Mil. Not a syllable. 

Mai. I wonder at that. Lady Bell, he says, 
shewed herself early. Impatient of advice, at- 
tentive to nothing but her beauty ! whole days 
at her looking-glass — I repeat his very words. — 
At her toilette every feature had its instructions 
how to look ; but no instruction for the mind. 
And then, says he, that terrible love of gaming ! — 

Mil. Gaming ! 

Mai. Don't you know it ? I can't say lever saw 
it myself. Time will determine her character. 



56 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Mil If she loves gaming, it is prettj/ well de- 
termined already. But my Lady Jane, there's a 
model for her sex to imitate. 

Mai. Have you watched her well ? People 
should appear what they really are. Mrs. Brom- 
ley has been very communicative about Lady 
Jane. 

Mil. You alarm me. My dear friend, explain. 

Mai. To do Lady Bell justice, she is above 
disguise. And though she has her faults, I have 
seen her please by those very faults. 

Mil. {^Smiling.) And so have I. Her very 
blemishes are beauty spots. 

Mai. No frankness about the youngest girl. 
It is friendship for you that makes me speak. 
Her character is all forced, studied, put on with 
her rouge. 

Mil. Does she paint ? 

Mai. A little ; the prudent touch. I am sor- 
ry for her. When she is settled in the world, 
many qualities, which now lie concealed, will 
break out into open daylight. 

Mil. What a masked battery there will be to 
play off upon her husband ! 

Mai. Their aunt told me all in confidence. 
You may judge how painful it is to her. 1 have 
known the family for some time. I can't but be 
sorry for the young ladies. 

Mil. And since this is the case, I don't care 
how little I know of them, or their family. 

Mai. No occasion to quarrel with the family. 
Great merit about Mrs. Bromley. She made an 
admirable wife, and at an early period. She 
was but seventeen when she was married. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 57 

Mil. No more ? 

Mai. Not an hour : she is not thirty : an es- 
tate in her own right, and the command of half 
a borough. No opposition there ; the old hou- 
ses have the votes. A man may get a seat with- 
out trouble. Does not Sir John want to see you 
in Parliament ? 

Mil. Yes. It would give him pleasure. 

Mai. Well, you will judge for yourself. Were 
I as you, I should know what course to take. 
Here she comes ! a good fine woman ! a man 
may there sit down to his happiness at once. 

Enter Mrs. Bromley, l.h. 

Mrs. B. Mr. MiWamour. -^{Curtsies.)— Mr. Mal- 
vil, what have you done with Mr. Bygrove ? 

Mai. I parted with him where you set us 
down. — {Speaks to her aside.) — I have talked to 
Millamour, and I think it will do. 

Mrs. B. Go you up stairs. 

i^Aside to Malvil^ l.h.) 

Mai. How charmingly you look ! like Lady 
Bell's eldest sister ! 

Mrs. jB. Po ! you are laughing at me. 

Mai. Not I, truly : I appeal to Millamour. 
I'll take the liberty to join the company above. 
— (^Aside to Mil.) — She is the best of the family. 

[Exit.) M.D. 

Mrs. B. A valuable man Malvil is ! He has a 
great esteem for you, sir. His sincerity is un- 
equalled. You seem thoughtful, Mr. Millamour. 

Mil. Thoughtful, ma'am ! — There are certain 
6 



58 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

subjects that — what Malvil says is true. — A man 
ma}' marry her, and sit down to his happiness at 
once. {^Jiside.^ 

Mrs. B. Sir John has been saying a great deal 
to me about you. 

Mil. Has he, ma'am ! — There is a circum- 
stance, which he is as yet a stranger to — a cir- 
cumstance which, to communicate, will perhaps 
— it is what I have long wished, and — 

Mrs. B. Faultering ! hesitating ! {Aside.) I in- 
terrupt you. 

Mil. There is a circumstance, ma'am ! — the 
affair is — -my father for a long time — Sir John, 
for a long time — Sir John has wished — 

Mrs. B. To see you married ? 

Mil. To see me married, ma'am — and — he 
has — he has wished it much. — And a settlement, 
by way of jointure, — long ready for the lady's 
name — that is — any lady, who shall honour me 
with her affection — and — 

Mrs. B. No lady can be insensible of your 
pretensions. 

Mil. You are very good, ma'am; and after 
long observation, and a lasting passion grafted on 
it, which, though silent hitherto — yet working 
secretly — when disclosed at length— may to the 
person in the world — who already formed by 
experience, may in every respect— and if with- 
out presuming too far — 

Mrs. B. What a delicate confusion he is in. 

{Aside.) 

Mil. And if this paper, ma'am — 

Mrs. B. {Taking the Paper.) When given by 
you, sir — 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 59 



Enter Bygrove, l.h. 

Perverse and cruel ! ( Walks aside.) 

Byg. You both look grave ; nothing amiss, I 

hope. 

Mrs. B. Every thing is as it should be, sir. 

Mr. Millamour will do what is right — [Smiling 

nt him.) — You may leave it all to him ; trust to 

his judgment. 

Enter Sir Harry, m.d. 

Sir H. Millamour, I have such a story for 
you : Malvil and Dashwould have been quarrel- 
ling about you, and — 

Byg. Po ! and here they all come ; I knew 
the substance could not be far off, when the 
shadow projected before it. 

Enter Lady Bell, Dashwould, and Malvil, m.d. 

Lady Bell. Mr. Dashwould, do you think I'll 
bear this ? What liberty will you take next ? 
You think, because I laugh, that I am not of- 
fended. — Aunt, I received a letter, and he has 
attempted to snatch it from me. 

Ddsji. Why it brings a little cargo of ridicule 
from the country, and my friend Malvil sees no 
joke in u. 

Mai. Vhxen my friend's name is brought in 
-question, sir — 

Lady Bell. It is diverting, notwithstanding. — 



60 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Aunt, what do you think ! My cousin Cynthia, 
you know, was to be married to Sir George 
Squanderstock ; her mother opposed it, and 
broke off the match, and now it's come out, that 
she was all the time the clandestine rival of her 
own daughtej-. 

Mil Not inapplicable to the present business. 

(Aside.) 

Mrs. B. Go, you giddy girl, no such thing ! 

Mil. [Aside.) She charms by her very faults. 

Sir H. {Goes up to By grove.) And Dashwould 
has been saying — 

Byg. Po ! repeat none of his sayings to me. 

Lady Bell. Did you say any thing, Mr. Dash- 
would ? What was it? (Crosses to Dash, r.h.) 

Dash. Oh ! nothing. Sir George Squander- 
stock is my very good friend. 

Mai. And for that reason you might spare 
him. No man is without his faults. 

Dash. Ay, allow him faults, out of tenderness. 

Byg. Sir George is a valuable man, sir, and 
represents his country to great advantage. 

Dash. He does so ; takes a world of pains ; 
nothing can escape him; Manilla ransom not 
paid ; there must be a motion about that matter r 
he knots his handkerchief to remember it. — 
Scarcit}^ of corn ! another knot — triennial par- 
liaments — (Knots.) — ^juries judges of law as well 
as fact — (Kno ^5.) —national debt — (Knots.) — bail 
in criminal cases — (Knots.) — and so on he goes, 
till his handkerchief is twisted into questions of 
state ; the liberties and fortunes of all posterity 
dangling like a bede roll ; he puts it in his pock- 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. til 

et, drives to the gaming table, and the next 
morning his handkerchief goes to the wash, 
and his country and the minority are both lel't 
in the suds. 

Lady Bell. What a description t > /r> .7 , 7 \ 

Sir k Hey! lively Lady Bell ! ^ ^^'^^ '""°^-) 

Mil. Ho ! ho ! I thank you, Dashwould. 

Mrs. B. {^Jlside to Millamour.) How can you 
encourage him? Let us leave them to them- 
selves. 

Mai. You see, Mr. Bygrove — 

Byg. Ay ! thus he gets a story to graft his 
malice upon, and then he sets the table in a roar 
at the next tavern. 

Sir H. Never be out of humour with Dash- 
would, Mr. Bygrove ; he keeps me alive ; he 
has been exhibiting pictures of this sort all the 
morning, as we rambled about the town. 

Byg. Go on, Sir Harry, ape your friend in all 
his follies ; be the nimble marmozet ; to grin 
at his tricks, and try to play them over again 
yourself 

Sir H. Well now, that is too severe : Dash- 
would, defend me from his w^it. You know I 
swallow all your good things. 

Dash. You never bring any of them up. 

Enter Miss Neville, l.h. and whispers Mrs. 
Bromley. 

Mrs. B. Very well, Neville, Fll come pre- 
sentlv. [Exit Miss JVeville.^ l.h. 

6 * 



62 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Mai {Looking at Miss Neville.) I shall stay 
no longer. Mr. Bjgrove, will you walk ? 

[Exit^ L.H. 

Byg. No, sir, I shall not leave the enemy in 
this room behind me : a bad translator of an an 
cient poet, is not so sure to deface! his original, 
as his licentious strain to disparage every cha- 
racter. 

Dash. Sir Harry, he will neither give nor take 
a joke. 

Sir H. No, I told you so. 

Byg. Let me tell you once for all sir — 

Dash. I wish 3^ou would. 

Byg. Why interrupt ? Do you know what I 
was going to say ? 

Dash. No, do you ? 

Mil. I'll leave them all to themselves. 

[Steals out.) m.d. 

Mrs. B. {Aside.) Millamour gone ! [Exit., m.d. 

Byg. And what does all this mighty wit amount 
to ? The wit in vogue, exposes one man ; makes 
another expose herself; gets into the secrets of 
an intimate acquaintance, and publishes a story 
to the world ; belies a friend ; puts an anecdote, 
a letter, an epigram into the newspaper ; and 
that is the whole amount of modera wit. 

Dash. A strain of morose invective is more 
diverting to be sure. 

Byg. {Looking about for Mrs. Bromley.) Well, 
sir, we'll adjourn the debate. You may go on ; 
misrepresent every thing ; if there is nothing 
ridiculous, invent a story ; and when you have 
done it, it is but a cheap and frivolous talent. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 63 

Has a lady a good natural bloom ? Her paint 
must be an expensive article. Does she look 
grave ? She will sin the deeper. Is she gay 
and affable ? Her true character will come out 
at the Commons. That is the whole of your 
art, and I leave you to the practice of it. 

{Goings L.H.) 
Dash. Satirical Bygrove ! now the widow has 
him in tow. 

Byg. (^Turning round.) Could not you stay till 
my back was fairly turned ? [Exit, l.h. 

Dash. What a look there w as ! 
Lady Bell At what a rate you run on ! you 
keep the field against them alL 

Dash. Sir Harry, step up, and watch him with 
the widow. 

Sir H. I will ; don't stay too long. 
Dash. I'll follow you : and hark, make your 
party good with Miss Neville. 

Sir H. You see. Lady Bell, a fling at every 
body. [Exit, l.h. 

Dash. The baronet does not want parts; that 
is to sa}'^, he has very good materials to play the 
fool with. I shall get him to marry Miss Ne- 
ville. 

Lady Bell. Bring that about, and you will for 
once do a serious action, for which every body 
will honour you. 

Dash. In the mean time, do you watch your 
aunt Bromley : she is jour rival. 

Lady Bell. Rival ? that would be charming ! 
Dash. It is even so. Now Millamour's under- 
standing is good, but his passions quick : if you 
play your cards right — 



64 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Lady Bell. Are 3^ou going to teach me how to 
manage a man ? 

Dash, Coquetry will never succeed with him. 
A quicksand does not shift so often as his tem- 
per. You must take him at his word, and never 
give him time to change and veer about. 

Lady Bell. Totally out of nature. 

Dash. Oh ! very well ; I give up the point. 

[Exit., M.rf. 

Lady Bell. You may leave the man to my 
management. My aunt Bromley rival me ! that 
would be delightful. 

Enter Lady Jane, m.d. 

Well, sister. 

Lady Jane. Can you be serious for a moment. 

Lady Bell. Well, the solemnity of that look ! 
Must 1 set my face by yours, and contract a wrin- 
kle, by a formal economy of features, which you, 
like the rest of the world, mistake for wisdom? 

Lady Jane. Will you hear me ? They are 
hurrying this match too fast, I think. Sir John 
is come, and his lawyer is expected every mo- 
ment. He wants to conclude the affair this day, 
and my aunt does not oppose it. But I don't 
like all this hurry. 

Lady Bell. And why need you be concerned 
about it ? 

Lady Jane. Do you think Millamour capable 
of love ? 

Lady Bell. For the moment. It will be diffi- 
cult to fix him. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 65 

Lady Jane. What would you have me do ! 

Lady Bell. Do ?— Nothing-. 

Lady Jane. How silly I you know it is not my 
seeking. 

Lady Bell. What are you about ? Talking in 
your sleep again? Lady Jane, wake yourself. 
What have you taken into your head? 

Lady Jane. Why, since Mr. Millamour has 
prevailed with me — 

Lady Bell. His affections then are fixed upon 
you ? — Why the man has been dying at my feet, 
With a face as long as my arm. 

Lady Jane. You will permit me to laugh in 
my turn. 

Lady Bell. Oh ! I can laugh with you, and 
at you, and at him too. This gives spirit to the 
business: here are difficulties, and difficulties 
enhance victory, and victory is triumph. 

Lady Jane. Very well ! oh ! brave ! laugh 
away ! you will be undeceived presently. — If 
this does not take, I am at the end of my line. 

[Exit^ L.H. 

Lady Bell. What does all this mean ? Rivalled, 
outwitted by my sister ! Insupportable ! This 
begins to grow serious. 

Enter Millamour, m.d. 

Mil. Sdeath ! she is here ! Sir John is quite 
impatient, and I am going for his attorney. 

Lady Bell. And Lady Jane is impatient too : 
she is the object of your choice. 

Mil. Lady Jane ! you are pleasant, very plea- 
??ant ! 



66 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Lady Bell She has told me with inflexible 
gravity ! 

Mil. She is a great wit ; and great wits have 
great quickness of invention ; and so a story is 
easily dressed up. I could crack my sides with 
laughing. If trifling civilities have been re- 
ceived as a declaration of love — 

Lady Bell And is that the case ? Very whim- 
sical indeed ! 

Mil. Yes, very whimsical ! I am eternally 
yours, ma'am, and I am on the wing, and your 
ladyship's adorer. — Confusion ! {Goings l.h.) 

Enter Lady Jane. 

Lady Jane. {Aside.) Now to plague them 
both. — Sister, you may hear it from himself 

Lady Bell. That lady, sir, has the strangest 
notion — 

Lady Jane. You will be so good as to explain 
all to my sister. 

Mil. (Aside.) Both upon me at once. — I have 
explained, madam, and all further talk about it 
is unnecessary. 

Lady Bell. Only to satisfy her curiosity. 

I^ady Jane. To shew my sister her mistake. 

Mil. {To Lady Jane.) I have made every thing 
clear, ma'am. — {To Lady Bell.) — Have not I, 
Lady Bell? And — {Turns to Lady Jane.) — eve- 
ry thing now is upon a proper footing. 

Lady Jane, Very well ; only give her to un- 
derstand — 

Mil. Your understanding is admirable — {Turns 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 67 

to Lay Bell.) — I told you she would talk in this 
style. — {Turns to Lady Jane.) — You are perfect- 
ly right, and nobody understands things better. 
— {Turns to Lady Bell.) — Nobody whatever. 

{Looks and laughs at both by turns.) 

Lady Bell. But give me leave, you must speak 
out, sir. 

Mil. {Aside to Lady Bell.) Never argue about 
it, it is not worth your while. 

Lady Jane. There is some mystery in all this. 

Mil. No; all very clear : — {To Lady Jane.) — 
drop it for the present. 

Lady Bell. But I desire no doubt may remain. 

Lady Jane. And I don't like to be kept in 
suspense. {Both pulling him by the arm.) 

Mil. Distraction ! I am like a lawyer, that 
has taken fees on both sides. You do me ho- 
nour, ladies ; but upon my soul, I can't help 
laughing. It will divert us some day or other, 
this will. Oh, ho, ho ! I shall die with laugh- 
ing. {Breaks from them.) 

Enter Mrs. Bromley, l.h. and Sir John, r.h. 

Mrs. B. What is all this uproar for ? 
Mil. Another witness of my folly ! 

{Runs to the other side.) 

Enter Dashwould, m.d. 

Dash. Millamour, I give you joy. Mr. Copy- 
hold, your attorney, is come with the deeds. 
What's the matter 1 



68 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Mil. The strangest adventure ! I can't stay 
now. The ladies have been very pleasant. 
You love humour, and they have an infinite 
deal. I'll come to you in a moment. [Exit^ r.h. 

Sir John. George, don't run away, let us finish 
the business. 

Dash. If he says he'll marry, you may depend 
upon him, A poet determined to write no more, 
or a gamester forswearing play, is not sure to 
keep his word. I wish I may die, if I don't 
think him as much to be relied upon as a prime 
minister. 

Lady Bell. Aunt, would you' believe it ? The 
demure Lady Jane — [Bursts into a laugh.) — She 
has taken such a fancy into her head ! Milla- 
mour she thinks is up to the eyes in love with 
her. 

Mrs. B. Ha, ha, ha ! poor Lady Jane ! 

Lady Jane. And mj'' sister's ptide is hurt. 
She carries it with an air, asjf' she had made a 
complete conquest. 

Mrs. B. How ridiculous the girls are ! your 
son has opened his mind to you. Sir John ? 

Sir John. He has, and I approve of his 
choice. I hope it is as agreeable to you as to 
his father. . . - ' 

Mrs. B. I don't know how to refuse my con- 
sent. 

Enter Bygrove, l.h.u.e. 

Byg. (^Listening.) What does all this mean ? 
Dash. As I could wish. There he is. 

(Seeing By grove.) 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 69 

Mrs. B. Since it has your approbation, Sir 
John, I believe I must yield my consent. I never 
thought to marry again, but since you will have 
it so — / 

Sir John. LadyjBcil/I understand, is willing 
to do me the honpiJiK of being my daughter-in- 
law. ^ 

Lady Bell. Olyi ^K ho, ho ! this makes amends 
for all. My dearVjint Bromley, are you impos- 
ed upon ? DidLyoii listen to the traitor's vows ? 
— The dear, pe^diWs ? — {Laughs violently.^ 

Dash, He will sron be settled. Sir John, since 
there are no^ tH^^ rival goddesses contending 
for him. MrKBygf-ove, you are come in good 
time. -^ N. 

Byg» What fooPs^art are you to play now ? 

(\ {Coming fom^ard.) 

Mrs, B. Sir John, 1 desire I may not be made 
your sport.'"'ntiave pot I here, under his hand, a 
declaration of M^mind; here, in this copy of 
verses, given to n^ by himself^ an earnest of his 
affection ? 

Lady Epl. Verses, aunt ? 

Lady Jfttj^yei^e^ to you ? 

Mrs. B. Ver^s lo taie : only hear, Sir John. 
{Reads.) ^W 

'' / look'^d, and I sigh''d., and I wish'^d I could speak.. 
And fain would have paid adoration.'^'' 

Lady Bell. Stay, stay ; mine begin the same 
way. ( Takes out a paper.) 

Lady Jane. The very words of mine. 

{Takes out a paper.) 

Mrs. B. Will those girls have done ? {Reads.)^ 
% 



70 KNOW YOUR OWN MINI>. 

^' But when I endeavoured the matter to break^''^ 

Lady Bdl. {Reads.) '''Still then I said least of 
my passion.^'' 

Mrs. B. Will you be quiet ? {Reads.) 

'•' Still then I said least of my passion ; 
I swore to myself'' — 

Lady Bell. {Reads fast.) '-'•And resolv''d I would 
try'''' — / 

Mrs. B. and Lady Bell. {Reading together.) 
" Some way my poor heart to recover.'''' 

Lady Jane, Lady Bell., and Mrs. B. {Reading 
eagerly together.) "• But that was all vai7i, for I 

sooner could die, 
Than live with forbearing to love her.''"' 

Lady Bell. Oh, ho, ho, ho ! *Mr. Dashwould, 
what a piece of work has he made ! 

Dash. And the verses copied from Congrevc. 

Lady Bell Copied from Congreve ! 

{Laughs heartily.) 

Sir John. I never was so covered with confu- 
sion ! [Exit, M.D. 

Lady Bell. I never was so diverted in all my 
days. 

Dash. He has acted with great propriety up- 
on the occasion. 

Mrs. B. He has made himself very ridiculous. 
He has exposed nobody but himself Contempt 
is the only passion he can excite. A crazy, mad, 
absurd — ( Tearing the paper.) 

Lady Jane, An inconstant, wild, irresolute — 
{Tears the paper.) 

Lady Bell. Ha, ha, ha ! so whimsical a cha- 
racter. [Kisses the paper, a7id exit, r.h. 



r 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND 71 



Dash. {To Bygrove.) What shall I give you 
for your chance ? [Exit^ r.h. 

Byg. More than Til give you for your wit. 

[Exit^ R.H. 



END OF ACT III, 



ACT IV. 

SCENE I. — An Apartment at Mrs. Bromley'^s, 

Enter Dashwould and Sir Harry, m.d. 

Dash. This way, Sir Harry. While they are 
all engaged in the pleasures of the table, I want 
a word with you in private. Did you mark 
Miss Neville, at dinner. 

Sir Har. You know I did. And when Mrs. 
Bromley railed at her 

Dash- She railed at her with a littleness of 
spirit, that disgraced wealth and influence, and 
gave to poverty the superior character. Were 
I at the head of such a fortune as yours, to 
choose a wife, she should be the object of my 
affection. You like her, that's clear. 

Sir Har. But she does not like me, and that's 
as clear. Somebody has done me a prejudice 
there. She received this letter, and gave me it 
to read. 

Bash. {Reads.) ''To Miss Neville"— (0;3en,9 
it.) Without a name. 



72 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Sir Har. A poison'd arrow in the dark. 

Dash. (^Reads.) " Anonymous letters are gene- 
rally the effect of clandestine marriage ; this 
comes from a friend. If your honour, your virtue, 
and your peace of mind are worth your care, 
avoid the acquaintance of Sir Harry. He is the 
deceiver of innocence, and means to add your 
name to the list of those whom his treachery 
has already ruined. Make use of this hint, and 
act accordingly." A pretty epistle — [Pauses.) 
Don't I know this hand ? So, so ! I understand it, 
I can trace this ; say no more, Sir Harry : pur- 
sue Miss Neville the closer for this. Will you 
let such a fellow as Malvil rob you of a treasure ? 

Sir Har. You don't suspect him ? 

Dash. Leave it all to me. Assure Miss Ne- 
ville that this shall be cleared up. Hush ! we 
are interrupted : go and join the company. 

Enter Malvil, m.d. 

Sir Har. Pshaw ! plague ! the company with- 
out you — 

Dash. Very well ; leave me now. [Exit Sir 
H. M.D.] What's the matter, Malvil ? 

Mai. It will be over presently : a sudden sen- 
sation ; I can't bear to see others made unhap- 
py. Mrs. Bromley is a very valuable w^oman, 
but at times rather violent. 

Dash. And that's much to be lamented, is 
not it ? 

Mai. You may laugh at it, sir, but I think it a 
serious matter. I left poor Miss Neville in a 
flood of tears : and ^here she comes". 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 73 



Enter Bliss Neville, m.d. 

Dash. Not rising from table so soon ? 

Miss .JV. Excuse me, sir, I had rather not stay. 

Dash. Never mind Mrs. Bromley's humours ; 
come, we will all take your part. . 

Miss JV, I am not fit for company, sir. 

Dash. I am sorry to lose you. [Crosses to 
L.H.) I'll leave you with my worthy friend : he 
will administer consolation. [Exit, l,h. 

Miss JV. Was there ever such inhuman tyran- 
ny ? Insulted before the whole company ! 

Mai. It hurts me to the quick. I could not 
have believed her capable of such violence. 

Miss JV. You saw that I gave her no provo- 
cation, 

Mai. It pains me to see what I do. 

Miss A'. During the whole time of dinner, it 
was one continued invective against me. 

Mai. Millamour's behaviour had disconcerted 
her. But that is no excuse. Goodness by fits, 
and generosity out of mere whim, can never 
constitute a valuable character. I am sorry to 
see you so afflicted. 

Miss JV. You are very good, sir. 

Mai No, I have no merit in it; the instincts 
of my nature leave me no choice. I have stu- 
died myself, and I find I am only good by in- 
stinct. I am strangely interested for you. I 
have thought much of your situation : our time 
is short ; they will be all rising from table pre- 
sently. Attend to what I say : since Mrs. Brom- 
7 * 



\ 



' ^ 



74 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

ley is so incessant in her tyranny, do as I al 
ready hinted to you. Withdraw from this house 
at once. Madam La Roug-e has an apartment 
ready for you. You may there remain conceal- 
ed. In the mean time, I shall be at work for 
you. I shall prevail upon Mrs. Bromley to keep 
her word, about the five thousand pounds. That 
added to what is in my power, will make a hand- 
some settlement for you. 

Miss JV. You heard what she said to Sir Harry ? 

Mai She wants to drive you to some act of 
despair ; perhaps to give you up a sacrifice to 
Sir Harry's loose desires. 

Miss JV. Are you so clear about Sir Harry ? 

Mai. (Jlside.) 'Sdeath! I see she loves him 
Hereafter I will open a scene to astonish you, 
(Pauses and looks at her.) You can never be 
happy under this roof. Mrs. Bromley will make 
this quarrel up, I know she will. The whole of 
her virtue consists in repentance, but what kind 
of repentance ? A specious promise to reform 
her conduct, and a certain return of the same 
vices. 

Miss jy. She has made me desperate. I can 
stay here no longer. I'll go back to the coun- 
try : I shall there be at peace. 

Mai. You will there be too much out of the 
way. When you are settled at Madame La 
Rouge's, the haughty Mrs. Bromley will see to 
what she has driven you, and for the sake of 
her character, will begin to relent. Sir Harry 
must not know where you are. He means your 
ruin, I am sorry to say it, but I can give 3^ou 
such convincing proof — 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 75 



Enter Mrs. Bromley, m.d. 

Mrs. B. Do you go to your room, madam ; 
let me see you no more to-day. 

Mai It was a mere unguarded word that fell 
from Miss Neville. (^Speaks to Mrs. Bromley 
aside.) Millamour is ashamed of his conduct. 
He is under my influence still ; I shall mould 
him to your wishes. 

Mrs-. B. (^Jfside to him.) I am a fool to think 
any more about him. Go to him ; watch him 
all day ; you will not find me ungrateful. (Loud.) 
And pray tell those girls to come up stairs. 
[Exit Malvil^ M.D.] Mighty well, madam ; you 
must sit next to Sir Harry : you have no pre- 
tensions, have you? And you must vouch for 
Lady Bell too ? She does not love gaming ; that 
story is all calumny. Bespeak yourself a place 
in the stage coach ; you shall quit this house, I 
promise you. 

Miss JV. It will be the last time 1 shall receive 
those orders, madam. Your favours are so em- 
bittered, there is such a leaven of pride, even 
in your acts of bounty, that I cannot wish to be 
under any further obligations. If doing justice 
to Lady Bell, if avowing my sentiments, in the 
cause of so amiable a friend, can give you um- 
brage, I am not fit to remain in this house. 

[Exit^ R.H. 

Mrs. B. O brave ! you shall travel. Give her 
a fortune ! — No, let Lady Bell reward her. How ! 
— Millamour, as I live. 



76 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



Enter Millamour, m.d. 

Mil. Deliver me, fate y she here : — madam— r 
I — I — I — you are not going- to leave us, I hope, 

Enter Sir John, l.ii. 

Mrs. B. (^Smiling at Millamonr.) And how can 
you look me in the face ? 

Mil. {Seeing Sir John.) I am glad you are 
come, sir, I wanted tO' — 

Mrs. B Perverse! — What brings Sir John? 
{Aside.) — I shall expect you above stairs, gentle- 
men. I must try once more to iix that irreso- 
lute, inconstant man. [PJxit, r.h. 

Sir John. What a day's v/ork have j'ou made 
here ? 

Mil. Sir! 

Sir John. Can you expect any good from all 
this ? Ever doing and undoing ! These proceed- 
ings are terrible to 3^our father. 

Mil. You know, sir, that to gratify you is the 
height of my ambition. 

Sir John. For shame ! don't imagine that you 
can deceive me any longer. Are you to be for 
ever in suspense ? Always resolving, and yet 
never decided ? Never knowing your own mind 
for five minutes. 

Mil. You seem exasperated, but I really don't 
see the cause. 

Sir John. No ? — Can't you feel how absurd it 
is to be always beginning the world ? For ever 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 77 

in doubt? Day after day embarking in new pro- 
jects, nay, twenty different projects in one day, 
and often in an hour ? 

Mil. Spare my confusion : I feel my folly ; I 
feel it all ; and let my future conduct — 

.Sir John. George, can I take your word ? I 
know 3^ou have been at the gaming table. 

Mil. The gaming table ! 

Sir John. Say no more : I know it all : after 
the indulgence 1 have shewn you, I now see that 
my hopes are all to be disappointed. If you 
have a mind to atone for what is past, pursue 
one certain plan, and be somebody. The time 
now opens a new scene, and calls for other man- 
ners. Reform your conduct, and I shall be hap- 
py. But I am tired of this eternal levity : my 
patience is worn out. I shall stay no longer in 
this house, to be a witness of your absurdity. 

[Exit., L.H. 

Mil. I have made myself very ridiculous here. 
I can't shew my face any more in this family. 
I'll go back to the Temple, and not marry these 
ten years. The law leads to great things • a 
seat in parliament, a vote or two against your 
conscience, a silk gown, and a judge ; that's the 
course of things. I'll pursue my ambition- 
Honest friend, (^Calls to a Servant.) hist ! honest 
friend, will you be so good as just to get me 
my laat? 

Enter Dashwould, m.d. 
Dash, (l.h.) No, I bar hats. What, going to 



78 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

desert us ? The sport is just beginning". By- 
grove has been lecturing his son, and quarrel- 
ling with Malvil. The integrity of that honest 
gentleman is suspected at last. He was the 
worthiest man in the world this morning, as 
good a creature as ever was born, but now he 
has sold himself to the widow. Lady Bell has 
been lively upon the occasion ; and Malvil, to 
support his spirits, has plyed the Burgundy, till 
he looks the very picture of hypocrisy, with a 
ruddy complexion, and a sparkling eye. 

Mil. You may divert yourself, sir ; 1 have done 
with them all. (^Crosses to l.h.) 

Dash. But I can't part with you : you shall 
join us ; Malvil shall have no quarter : he will 
stick to his glass till his charity for his neigh- 
bour begins to stagger ; then off drops the mask ; 
he will have courage enough to rail at mankind, 
and his true character will come forth, like let- 
ters in lemon juice before the fire. 

Mil. Pho ! absurd ! I am on the rack. Why 
did you force me to stay dinner? I have been 
so v/eak, so frivolous. 

Dash. How so ? Because you changed your 
mind ? There is nothing more natural. Don't 
3''ou see men doing the same thing every day? 
Down goes the old mansion ; a new one rises; 
exotic trees smile on the landscape, and enjoy 
the northern air ; and when the whole is finish- 
ed, in less than a twelve-month, the auctioneer 
mounts his pulpit. " Pleasing contiguity" — 
" Beautiful, nud picturesque scene" — " Delecta- 
bly featured by Nature" — *' Shall I say twenty 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 79 

thousand ?" — Down it goes to the highest bid- 
der, who pays his monej^, and runs away the 
next morning with an opera singer to Italy. 

Mi'. [Laughing.) Wh}^, yes, we see those 
things every day. 

Dash. No doubt ; men are fickle and inconstant. 

Mil. Very true ; it is the way through life ; 
in the lowest rank, as well as the highest. You 
sha'n't see a journeyman weaver, but he has his 
disgust, like a lord, and changes his lodging, his 
house of call, his barber, and his field-preacher. 

Dash. Certainly ; and then there is a real 
charm in variety. Besides, what you did to-day, 
was a mere frolic. 

Mil. Nothing more : and that fellow, Malvil, 
was the occasion of it. My heart never rightly 
warmed to that man. I shall never consult him 
again. Affairs were in a right train, if he had 
not interposed. 

Dash. You shall have your revenge. I have 
a mine to spring, will blow him up — [Laughs.) 
His advice to-day has served to produce the 
widow's character. 

Mil. Yes, it has given a display of her. 
[Laughs.) How could she think me in earnest? 
Marry her ! I would go into the army sooner. 

Dash. A good pretty trade, the army, if you 
are killed in battle, it is your affair; if you con- 
quer, you may retire, and live very prettily upon 
half pay. 

Mil. Very true : the law is a more certain 
road. 

Dash. A good agreeable life the law is : for 



80 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

ever entangled in the cobwebs of Westminster 
hall ; and you help to spin them yourself into 
the bargain. 

Mil. And at the end of twenty years you are 
thought a good promising young man. 

Dash. In the mean time, you are constantly 
hiring out your lungs, and ever in a passion 
about other people's affairs. 

Enter Lady Bell, and Lady Jane, m.d. 

Lady Bell. Come, sister, leave the men to 
themselves. Mr. Dashwould, has their wit frigh- 
tened you away ? 

Mil. (^Looking at her.) " Look in her face and 
you forget them all." 

Dash. Won't your ladyship have compassion 
on that gentleman ? 

Lady Bell. Compassion !— my sister and 1, wc 
hope for his protection ? 

Enter Captain Bygrove, m.d. 

Capt. B. When you go away from compan}. 
Lady Bell, you draw every body in your train. 

Lady Bell. Oh ! you have so overpowered me 
with civil, and tender things ! 

Mil. {Aside.) What does he follow her for ? 

Lady Bell. A I'honneur, gentlemen. {Goes up 
to Millamour.) Uncle ! Uncle Millamour, when 
you are married to my aunt, I hope you will be 
kind to us both. {Curtsies.) 

Mil. {Turning away.) Confusion ! daggers ! 
daggers ! 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 81 

Ladij Jane. ( Cnrtsying.) May I salute you, uncle? 
Mil. Pho ! this foolery! (J^'alks azmy.) 

Lady Bell. Let us give him all his titles ! — 
Brother, when you marry my sister. 

{jVlakes a low curtsy.) 

Mil. How can you. Lady Bell ? 

Lady Jane. Uncle !~ Brother ! ) rp>^ii. i^ . i, \ 

Lady Bell. And Brother Uncle ! \ (Botn laugh.) 

Mil. (^Breaking away from them.) This is too 

much — No patience can endure it. {Turns to 

Lady Bell.) Madam, this usage — [Lady Bell and 

Lady Jane both laugh loud.) 

Lady Jane. Come, sister, let us leave him. 

[Exit.) L.H. 

Lady Bell. Oh ! ho ! ho ! I shall expire. {Going.) 

Mil. Why will you torment me thus? {Takes 

her by the hand.) Am I to be for ever made your 

sport ? 

Lady Bell. Oh you would not have me laugh. 
To be sure, when one considers, it is a serious 
matter. And though Captain Bygrove {Pointing 
to him.) has orders to be in love with me ; and 
though he has declared himself in the warmest 
terms — 

Mil. And could you listen to him ? 
Lady Bell. And yet after all VAur promises, 
when you had touched my heart — '^ 

{In a softened tone.\ 

Mil Jealous of me by this light. {Aside.) 

Lady Bell. After all your faithless vows, to 

break them as you have done, like a Turk, or 

a Jew, or a Mahometan, {Crying^) and leave me 

like Dido and iEneas, it is enough to break a 



82 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

young girl's heart — {Crying bitterly.) so it is, it 
is — There, will that please you ? (Bursts into a 
laugh.) Adieu, uncle ! my compliments to my 
aunt — [Exitj r.h. 

Mil. Damnation! 

Enter Sir Harry, m.d. 

Sir Har. Did not I hear somebody crying? 

JMil. Yes, and laughing too. Captain Bygrove, 
you said something to Lady Bell, what was it, 
sir? 

Capt. B. What I desire the world to know ; I 
love her, I adore her. My father has ordered 
it, Mrs. Bromley approves : Lady Bell encoura- 
ges me ; and I shall be the happiest of mankind. 

Mil. You and I must talk apart, sir. You 
know my prior claim. Attempt my life rather 
Ihan my love. You must think no more of her, 
sir : she is mine by every tie, and so I shall tell 
her this moment. [Exit.) r.h. 

Dash. Now hold that resolution, if you can. 

Capt B. I have managed it well. 

Dash. Admirably ! 

Sir H. What does all this mean ? Dashwould, 
you are wanted in the next room. Malvil is in 
for it : he sitJfcoasting Miss Neville, while every 
idea fades away from his countenance, all going 
out one by one, and his eye sinks into all the dim 
vacuity of a brisk no meaning at all. 

Dash. I'll look in upon them. — Bygrove, I see 
Miss Neville : let us give Sir Harry his oppojj 
tunity. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 85 

Eyiter Miss Neville, r.h. 

Miss JV. 1 thought Lady Bell was here ; I beg 
your pardon, gentlemen. 

Dash. Your company is always agreeable, is 
not it. Sir Harry ? The gentleman will speak 
for himself. Come, Bygrove, I have occasion 
for you. [Exit with Capt. Bygrove^ m.d. 

Sir H. May I now presume, madam — 

Miss JV. You choose your time but ill, Sir Har- 
ry. I have so many things to distract me, I can- 
not listen to you now. 

Sir H. ( Takes her hand.) But you promised to 
hear me ; I have long beheld your sufferings. 

Miss JV. They do not warrant improper li- 
berties. I can be humble as becomes my situ- 
ation. I hope you will not oblige me to shew 
that spirit, which virtue is as much intitled to, 
as the proudest fortune in the kingdom. 

SirH. I mean you no disrespect. That letter 
is a black artifice to traduce my character. 

Miss JV. Your character, I dare say, sir, will 
come out clear and unsullied. You will permit 
me to take care of mine. It is all I have to 
value. I shall not continue any longer in this 
house. Mrs. Bromley has made it impossible ; 
I wish you all happiness, sir. [Exit.^ l.h. 

Sir H. I wonder what Dashwould will say to 
all this. I shall like to hear him : He will turn 
it to a joke, I warrant him. No end of his plea- 
i?antry. [Exit., r.h. 



84 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Enter Malvil, in liquor^ m.d. Bygrove and Dash- 
would R.II, 

MaJ. Very Avell ; make the most of it. Since 
you force me to speak, I say her character is a 
vile one. 

Byg. Here is a fellow whom wine only in- 
spires with malice. 

Dash. Pho ! malice ! Malvil has no harm in him. 

Mai. You may talk of Mrs. Bromley, but she 
is as vile a character, as pride, and insolence, 
and avarice, and vanit}^, and fashionable airs, and 
decayed beauty can jumble together. 

Byg. Here's a return for her hospitality ! 

Mai Marry her, I say ; marry her, and try. 

Byg. You shall not have a shilling with Miss 
Neville. 

Mid. There, the secret's out: you want to 
marry her, and make her break her word. Man- 
kind's a villain ! a medley of false friends, elop- 
ing wives, stockjobbers, and usurers ; wits that 
wont write, and fools that will. (^Sings.) 

ByfT. Dashwould, you are a panegyrist, com- 
pared to this man. 

Dash. Yes, he takes yopr trade out of your 
hands. 

Mai. She is Mrs. Bromley, the widow, and you 
are Mr. Bygrove, the widower ; and so, bite the 
biter, that's all. 

Byg. His wit soars above you, Mr Dashwould. 

Mai, Wit is a bad trade. Letters have no 
friends left in these degenerate times. ,. She 
man of letters to the first of your n#>.!lity, a!! 
they will leave him to starve in a garret. In- 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. lib 

troduce a fellow, who can sing a catch, write a 
dull political pamphlet, or remarks upon a Dutch 
memorial, or play off fire works, and he shall 
pass six months in the country, by invitation. 
Maecenas died two thousand years ago, and you 
are not historian enough to know it. 

Dash, He makes a bankrupt of me. 

Byg. I have found him out : I know him now : 
a pretended friend, that he may more surely be- 
tray you. Go, and get some coffee to settle your 
head. [Exit^ r.h. 

Mai. Mrs. Bromley will settle your head. 

Dash. Let us take him up stairs ; he'll tumble 
over the tea-table, to shew his politeness. {Tak- 
ing him by the arm.) Come, the ladies wait for us. 

Mai. Mankind, I say, is a villain ! {Sings.) 

Enter Lady Bell. 

Lady Bell. Bless me, Mr. Malvil ! 

Mai. All Dashwould's doing to expose a body. 
Do you look to Millamour, that's what I say to 
you. 

Dash. He shan't stay to plague your ladyship. 
— Come, Malvil, let us go and be tender of re- 
putation above stairs. 

Mai I'm alway's tender, and you are scur- 
rilous. {Sings and exit., led by Dashwould.^ r.h. 

Lady Bell. How Millamour follows me up and 
down ! charmmg ! here he comes. 

Enter Millamour, r.h. 

Mil. Lady Bell, allow me but one serious 
moment. 

8* 



86 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Lady Bell. This bracelet is always coming off. 

(^Fiddles with it.) 

Mil. Whatever appearances may have been, I 

burn with as true a passion, as ever penetrated a 

faithful heart. 

Lady Bell. [Aside and smiling.) I know he 
is mine — This silly, obstinate bauble ! What 
were you sayin.of ? Oh ! making love again. 
Mil. By this dear hand I swear — 

(^Seizes her hand.) 
Lady Bell. Hold, hold, no violence. Give me 
my liberty, and thus I make use of it. 

(^Runs away from him., r.h.) 

Enter Captain Bygrove, r.h. 

Lady Bell, [ineeting him.) Oh ! I have been 
wishing for you. How could you stay so long? 

Capt B. They detained me against my will. 
But you see I am true to my appointment. 

Mil. (Jside to Bygrove ) Are you so ? You 
shall keep an appointment with me. 

Lady Bell. I was surrounded with darts and 
flames. That gentlemen was for renewing the 
old story, but it is so ridiculous ! 

( Walks up the stage with Capt. Bygrove.) 

Mil. Distraction ! to be insulted thus ! 

Lady B. (Jls she walks up.) You have prevail- 
ed upon me to be in earnest at last. Since your 
father has proposed it, and since you have de- 
clared yourself, why, if I must speak, get my 
aunt's consent, and mine follows of course. 

Mil. [Listening.) If ever 1 forgive this. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 87 

Capt. B. Mrs. Bromley has consented. {Then 
aside to Lady Bell.) He has it ; this will gall his 
pride. 

Mil. No end of her folly. I was bent on mar- 
riage, but now it's all her own fault. And yet 
she knows my heart is fixed upon her. 

Ijady Bell. ( Walking dozvn with Capt. By grove.) 
You are so obliging, and I have so many things 
to say to you ; but if people will not perceive, 
when they interrupt private conversation. 

Mil. If ever I enter these doors again, may 
the scorn of the whole sex pursue me. [Exit^ l.ii. 

Capt. B. We have carried this too far. 

Lady Bell. The barbarous man, when he 
should have taken no denial, but have, lain on 
the ground, imploring, beseeching — Delightful ! 
here he comes again. {Goes to Captain Bygrove.) 

Enter Millamour, l.h. 

Mil. ( Walking up to Lady Bell.) Is it not strange, 
that you can't know your own mind for two mi- 
nutes together ? 

Lady Bell. Ho ! ho ! the assurance of that re- 
proach. {Walks away.) 

Mil. {To Bygrove.) Appoint your time and 
place : I must have satisfaction for this. 

Capt. B. To-morrow morning, when the mar- 
riage ceremony is over. 

Mil. I shall expect you, sir. {Going.) 

Enter Lady Jane, l.h. 

Mil This is lucky. I was in quest of your 
ladyship. 



as KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Lady Jane. In quest of me, sir ? 

Mil. In quest of you, ma'am. I have been 
waiting for an opportunity, and, if the sincerest 
sorrow can expiate past offences. — Here's a 
chair, ma'am. 

Capt. B. {To Lady Bell.) We may drive him 
to extremities with Lady Jane : I'll leave you to 
recover your wanderer. [Exit r.h. 

Mil- (Sitting down.) If you will permit me to 
assure you — 

Lady Jane. But while my sister is my rival — 

Mil. Your sister's charms carry their own an- 
tidote with them. If there is faith in man, I 
mean to atone for what is past. 

Lady ^ Bell. (Coming forward.) So, so; with 
what pleasure she hears him ! (^Jlside.) Did you 
speak to me, Mr. Millamour ? 

Mil. There was a time, ma'am! — (Turns to 
Lady Jane.) — Now she wants to interrupt us : 
don't let us mind her, and she'll withdraw. 

Lady Bell. Wear the willow, Lady Bell ! Not 
a word, sir ; you are in the right : my spirits 
are too violent for you ; and though what I say 
is not absolutely wit — do you like wit ? I'm sure 
you ought, for it is undefineable, like yourself. 

Mil. (Smiling.) That is not ill said. 

Lady Bell. (Sits at a distance.) Horrid ! I shall 
be vapoured up to my eyes. I'll try my song, 
to banish melancholy. Where is that foolish 
guitar ? (Goes for it.) 

Mil. Now her jealousy is at work. I knew 
she would be mortified. Let us agree to pique 
her pride, and probe her to the quick. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 89 

Lady Bell Though I can't sing", it diverts a 
body to try. (^Siis down and sings.) 

SONG.— Lady Bell. 

Sabrina^ with that sober mien^ 
The converse sweet., the look serene: 
Those eyes that beam the gentlest ray, 
And though she loves, that sweet delay ; 
Unconscious, seems each heart to take. 
And conquers for her subject'' s sake ! 

Mil. Vastly well ! [Listens, smiles, looks at her, 
draws his chair near her, and beats time on her 
knee.) 

Lady Bell (^Sings) 

The tyrant Cynthia wings the dart. 
Coquetting with a bleeding heart ; 
Has cruelty, which all adore, 
Flights that torment, yet please the more : 
Her lover strives to break his chain, 
But canU, such pleasure's in the pain. 

Mil. Oh ! charming ! charming ! 

(^Kisses her hand.) 

Lady Bell. What are you about, you wretch ? 
Only look, sister. I suppose, sir, when j-ou 
have done, you will give me my hand again ? 

Lady Jane. I promise you, sister, your triumph 
will be short. [Exit, l.h. 

Lady Bell. How she flung out of the room ! 

(^Rises, and walks about.) 

Mil You know, Lady Beli, that I am yours 
by conquest. I adore you still, and burn with ^ 
lover's faithful fires. 



90 KNOW YQUR OWN MIND. 

Lady Bell. Come, and have a dish of tea to 
cool you. Will you come ? — {Beckons him.) — 
Won't you ? Well, consider of it, and when you 
know your own mind, you may change it again. 

[Exit^ R.H. 

Mil. There now ! Every thing by turns, and 
nothing long. Fickle do they call me ? A man 
must be fickle, who pursues her through all the 
whimsies of her temper. Admire her in one 
shape, and she takes another in a moment. 
One charm display'^d^ another strikes our view^ 
In quick variety for ever new. \^Exit^ r.h. 



END OF ACT IV. 



ACT V. 

SCENE I. — A Room in Mrs. Bromley'^s House. 
Enter Millamour and Dashwould, r.h. 

Mil. Am I to be sacrificed to your humour ? 

Dash. Am I to be sacrificed to your absurdi- 
ty? 

Mil. When pleasantry is out of all time and 
place — 

Dash. Why thgn I shall be tired of all time 
and place. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 91 

Mil. Look ye, Mr. Dashwould, it is time to 
be serious. The wit that wounds the breast of 
a friend, is the pest of society. 

Dash, What does all this mean, sir? What is 
it about ? 

Mil. If I lost money at play, was it for you to 
carry the tale to my father? for you to subject 
me to his reproaches ? 

Dash. I don't know by what fatality it hap- 
pens, but that generally comes last, which ought 
to be mentioned first. I repeated nothing to 
Sir John : who did ? Do you ask that question? 
Malvil, sir, with his usual duplicity. 

Mai. Malvil? He has this moment told me 
how pleasant you were upon the subject, and at 
my expense. 

Dash. Yes, when he had revealed the whole, 
and with false tenderness lamented your folly. 

Mil. 'Sdeath ! I understand it now. I have 
been absurd here. 

Dash. I don't dislike you for your absurdity : 
that serves to divert one : Malvil excites other 
feelings. You know the character he gave you 
of Lady Bell. 

Mil. Yes, and all slander. 

Dash. I left him but now, representing you to 
Lady Bell in the same colours — and here — 
(^Shews a letter.) — ^Here I have him fast An 
anonymous letter against Sir Harry, sent for his 
own purposes to Miss Neville. All his contriv- 
ance, dictated by himself, and written at an at- 
torney's desk. You know old Copyhold ? 

Mil. Did he pen the letter? 



92 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Dash. One of his clerks was the scribe. The 
young man is now in the house, at my request, 
and ready to prove Malvil the author. Here 
he comes — things are not ripe as yet. Say 
nothing now. 

Enter Malvil, l.h. 

Mil. Walk in ; you come opportunely. 

Mai. If I can be of any service — 

Mil. To be of disservice, is your province ; 
and when you have done the mischief, you can 
transfer the blame to others. 

Mai. I have been rather off my guard to-day. 
I am not used to be overtaken in that manner : 
my head is not quite clear. 

Mil. Then this business may sober you. What 
was your whisper to me about that gentleman ? 

Mai. That he treated with wanton pleasantry, 
what 1 thought a serious matter. I may mis- 
take the means, but the end of my actions I can 
always answer for. Sir John might hear of the 
affair from another quarter, so to soften his re- 
sentment — 

Mil. You took care to excite it. 

Mai. I — 1 — i am apt to carry my heart at my 
tongue's end. 

D(nsh. I knew his heart was not in the right 
place. 

Mai. I did not address myself to you, sir. 

Mil. i knovv you have the grimace of charac- 
ter, Mr. Malvil, armed at all points with plausi- 
ble maxims, iiut which of your maxims can 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 93 

justify the treachery of betraying the secret of 
a friend? Who does it, is a destroyer of all 
confidence ; and when he attempts to varnish 
his conduct, with the specious name of friend- 
ship, the malignity strikes the deeper : artful, 
smiling malignity. 

Mai. *l deserve all this. Friendship in excess 
is a fault. There are bounds and limits even to 
virtue. It would be well if a man could always 
hit the exact point. There is however some- 
thing voluptuous in meaning well. 

Dash. Well expressed, Malvil ! ha ! ha ! you 
are right. 

Mil. No more of your musty sentences. 

Mai. Morals are not capable of mathematical 
demonstration. And — now I recollect myself — 
it did not occur at first — it was Madame La 
Rouge told the affair to Sir John. This gentle- 
man here — 1 suppose you will take his word — 
he says she hears every thing, tells every thing, 
and he calls her a walking newspaper : not that 
she means any harm. I only mean to say — 

Dash. O I fie, don't be too severe upon her. 

Mai. She said at the same time — you know 
her manner — she told Sir John, that you are in 
love with half a dozen, and will deceive them 
all, and Lady Bell into the bargain. 

Mil. Distraction ! she dare not say it. This 
is another of your subterfuges. You know, sir, 
how you traduced Lady Bell, and made that 
gentleman the author of your own malevolence. 
At any other time and place, my sword should 
read you a lecture of morality. 
9 



94 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



1 



Mai. You are too warm : and since I see it is 
so, to avoid contention, I shall adjourn the de- 
bate. [Exit^ L.H. 

Mil. Deceive Lady Bell ! — Whoever has dar- 
ed to say it ? — Madame La Rouge lives but a 
little way off. I'll bring her this moment, to 
confront this arch impostor. [Going l.h.) 

Dash. You'll be sure to return. 

Mil. This very night shall unmask him. 

[Exit., L.H. 

Dash. I shall depend upon you. Malvil shall 
answer to Sir Harry : all his artifices shall be 
fairly laid open. 

Enter Bygrove, r.h. 

Byg. Mr. Dashwould, we are now good friends. 
I have reposed a confidence in you. You know 
every thing between me and Mrs. Bromley, but 
you see how she goes on. 

Dash. And I see how you go on. You are the 
dupe of your own policy. 

Byg. How so. 

D&sh. The widow's schemes are seconded by 
your own imprudence. Can't you see, that if Mil- 
lamour were once married out of your way, Mrs. 
Bromley would then be at her last stake, and 
you might have some chance ? And yet your 
son has it in command to defeat my friend Milla- 
mour with Lady Bell. 

Byg. How ! light breaks in upon me. Gull 
that I was ! my son shall marry Lady Jane di- 
rectly. 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 95 

Dash. To be sure ; and the consequence is, 
that Lady Bell declares for Millamour. 

Byg. Right : I am for ever obliged to you ; I'll 
go and speak to my son this moment ; Lady Jane 
shall be his, without delay. [Exit, r.h. 

Dash. So much for my friend, the Captain : I 
have settled his business. 

Enter Mrs. Bromley, l.h. 

Mrs. B. Mr. Dashwould, I am so distracted — 
a terrible business has happened. 

Dash. What's the matter ? 

Mrs. B. Miss Neville ! Ican't think what is 
become of her — she is not to be found, high or 
low. We have searched every where for her. 
What can be the meaning of this ? 

Dash. Is Malvil gone ? 

Mrs. B. This very moment : he has no hand 
in it He sees, and pities my distress. He is 
gone to make inquiry. A girl that I was fondi 
of, and never said an angry word to. 

Dash. You have been remarkably mild. 

Mrs. B. You know how tender I have been of 
her. — What can have put this into her head 1 
How long has Millamour been gone ? — I under- 
stand it now. This is his exploit. 

Dash. You wrong him. I will undertake to 
discover this plot for you. 

Enter Bygrove, r.h. 

You can comfort the lady, sir ; I shall return im- 
mediately. [Exit.) r.h 



96 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Byg. (l.h.) May I take the liberty, madam — 
Mrs. B. Why torment me thus ? You are all 
in a plot against me. 

Enter Lady Bell, Lady Jane, and Captain 
Bygrov^e, l.h. 

Mrs. B. There, Lady Bell, there is your lover 
run away with yoiir cousin. 

Lady Bell. I can depend upon her. I can still 
venture to answer for her honour. 

Byg. She will come back, you need not alarm 
yourself. 

Mrs. B. You have seduced her, for any thing 
I know. I am distracted by you ail, and will 
hear no more. [Exit.^ r.h. 

Byg. Mrs. Bromley, permit me to say a word. 

[Exit.) R.H. 

Lady Bell. I hope there is nothing amiss. I 
can rely upon Miss Neville's discretion ; I think 
I can. Come, sister, let us go and inquire. — 
{Goings looks back.) — Hey ! you two are staying, 
to say delicate things to each other. 

Capt. B. Our difficulties, you know, are at an 
end. I have my father's orders to follow my 
own inclination. Had Millamour staid, I have 
a plot would have fixed him your ladyship's for 
ever. 

Lady Jane. And we sha'n't see him again this 
month, perhaps. 

Lady Bell. Let him take his own way. I am 
only uneasy about Miss Neville at present* 



^ 



KNOW YOtIR OWN MIND. 97 



Enter Dashwould, r.i^ with a letter in his hand. 

Dash. This way, you are wanted : I have u 
letter here, that discovers all. [Exit, r.h. 

Lady Bell. But what does it say ? Let us go 
and hear it directly. [Exeunt, r.h. 

SCENE II. — Jin Apartment at Madame La 
Rouge^s. 

Enter Millamour and La Rouge, l.h. 

Mil. Have you sent to Dashwould ? 

La Ron. les, I have send him letter. 

Mil. Miss Neville here, you say ? 

La Ron. She come an hour ago, all in tear. 

Mil. Then she is saf.3.— You are sure you 
never said any thing to Sir John about the gam- 
ing business? — You did not say that I should 
deceive Lady Bell ? 

La Roll, Monsieur Malvil, he tell you so ? 

Mil. Yes ; and I tremble for the consequence. 

La Rou. It is^ one great villain — I great re- 
spect for you. Vous. .est aimable. Monsieur Mal- 
vil, he is great fripon. And I ver sorry he be 
marry to Mademoiselle Neville. 

Mil. Married to ner ? 

La Rou. You not know it ?— He is marry to 
her dis day. — He take my apartment tree 
week ago. He not have it known dat he is 
marry for five or six day ; write letter to me 
dis afternoon : he must be let in ver private ; 
9 * 



98 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

de servant not to see him ; go up de back stair* 
to her room, and so V affaire est faite. 

Mil. And thus he has seduced her from her 
relations ? Let me see the letter. 

(^Reads the letter.) 
Madame la Rouge^ 

Miss Neville has this day given me her hand in 
marriage. I would not have it known for some 
time. Conduct me to her apartments.^ unknown to 
your servants. The way up the back stairs will be 
best. Your secrecy shall be rewarded by 

Martin Malvil. 

La Rou. I not tink him so bad to talk of me, 
and tell such parcel of story, vid not one word 
of true. 

Mil So ; here he is in black and white. To 
come privately, is he ? If I could detain him 
here, and prevent all means of his escaping — 

La. Rou. Escape ? Up back stairs, he must 
come through dat apartment; — (^Pointing to a 
door in the back scene.) — I turn de key in de back 
door : viola voire prisonier ; he is prisoner. 

Mil. Exquisite woman ! I'll lock this door, 
and secure the key. — (^Locks the door in the back 
scene.) — Hush ! {A rap at the street door., l.u.) 

La Rou. Le voila : he come now. 

Mil. Fly, let him in; send once more to 
Dashwoald ; I want him this instant ; fly, dispatch. 

La Rou. I do all vat you bid me. [Exit., l.h.d. 

Mil. It is honest of her to make this discove- 
ry. If this be Malvil— a soft whisper that — 
(^Listens.) — it is he, I hear his voice — 1 shall 
have the merit of defeating villainy, and pro- 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 99 

tecting innocence. — Don't I hear Miss Neville ? 
— {Goes to R.H.D.) — Miss Neville ! 

Enter IVIiss Neville, r.h.d. 

Miss JV. Madam La Rouge !— Oh, sir ! what 
brings you hither ? 

Mil. It is your interest to hear me ; your hap- 
piness depends upon it. 

Miss N. Alas ! I fear he is too rash. 

Mil. Command your attention, and listen to 
me : Malvil has planned your ruin. 

Miss JV. Impossible ! he has too much hon- 
our : why will you alarm me thus ? I am un- 
fortunate, and you, sir, need not add to my af- 
flictions. 

Mil. You have trusted yourself to a villain : 
he means, at midnight, to gain access to your 
person, to triumph over j'^our honour, and then 
leave you to remorse, to shame, and misery. 
Read that letter. — {Gives it her^ and she reads it 
to herself.) — She's an amiable girl, and I dare 
say, will make an admirable wife. — Hark ! I 
hear him in yonder room. Suppress «>ach wild 
emotion of surprise, and wait the event. 

Miss JV. I can scarce believe what I read. 
What have I done ? ( Weeps.) 

Mil. I will direct you ; rely upon me. 

Enter Dashwould, Lady Bell, and Lady Jane^ 

L.H.D. 

JD^h. La Rouge has told us the whole story. 



too KNOW YOUR OWN MINP. 

Mil. Hush ! no noise. 

Lady Bell. My swee.t girl, how could you 
frighten me so ? 

Miss JV. I blush for what I have done : but 
Mrs, Bromley's cruelty drove me to despair. 

Lady Jane. My dear, all will be well : don^'t 
flurry yourself. 

Lady Bell. Though my aunt vexed you, why 
run away from me ? 

Enter Mrs. Bromley, Bygrove, Sir Harry, and 
Captain Bygrove, l.h.d. 

Mrs. B. Where is this unhappy girl ? 
Mil. A moment's patience. 

Enter Madame La Rouge, l.h.d. 

Mil. Is he safe ? 

La Ron. He is dere in de room as safe as in 
Bastile. 

Alil. Speak to him through the door: now 
all be silent. 

La Rpi. Monsieur Malvil, open de door. 

Mai. ( Within.^ m.d.) Do you open it, you have 
the key. 

La Ron. De key, it is dere : Miss Neville, it 
is gone to bed ; all de house asleep : I in de 
dark ; now is your time. 

Mil. {To La Rouge.) Hush ! here is the key. 
{Takes away the lights.) 

Mai. ( Within.) Will you dispatch ? 

La Ron. Attendez : here is de key : I Jjp you 
out. {Unhcks the door.) 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 101 



Enter Malvil, m.d^ 

Mai. All in darkness : is she gone to bed. 

La Rou. (^Leading him.) She wait for you : 
vere was you married ? 

Mai. St. James's parish : Sir Harry has not 
succeeded ; she prefers me. Say nothing of it 
yet awhile. 

La Rou. No ; not a vord : ten^z, i get light 
for you. [ Exit^ l.h.d. 

Mai. So ; I have carried my point. The 
family will be glad to patch up the affair, to 
avoid the disgrace. 

Enter Madame La Rouge, l.h.d. with Lights. 

La Rou. Ah ! you look en cavalier ; ver good 
apartment for you ; and dere is good picture. 
And dis room is well furnish : look about you : 
mere picture, and all original. 

(^Turns him to the company.) 

Omnes. Ha, ha, ha ! your servant, Mr. Malvil ! 

Mai. Hell and confusion ! 

Mil. {Taking him by the arm.) There are 
bounds and limits even to virtue. 

Dash. {At his other arm.) Morals are capable 
of mathematical demonstration. 

Lady Bell {To Miss JVeville.) Let us with- 
draw from all this bustle. Sir Harry, step this 
way. I want you. — 
[Exit with Miss JVev. Lady Jane^ and Sir H. l.h. 

Dash. This is all according to the fitness of 
things. 



102 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Mil. Something voluptuous in meaning well. 

Byg. Dashwould, your ridicule is now in 
season to expose such a character. He is fair 
game, and hunt him down as you please. 

Mai The fiends are about me ! — Mr. By- 
grove, you are a thinking man, I appeal to you. 

Mil. I appeal to this letter, sir. 

Omnes. Ha, ha, ha ! 

Mai. The letter is forged'— let me see it. 

(^Snatches at it.) 

Dash. And I have another proof! this anony- 
mous scrawl, written by your direction, and sent 
to Miss Neville, to give a stab to the character 
of Sir Harry. Do ycu deny it, sir ? Your sec- 
retary is now in the house ; I brought him with 
me ; he is ready to prove you the author of this 
mean, clandestine mischief. 

Mai. All false ; all a forgery. Where is this 
French impostor ? Where is your witness, sir ? 
— {To Dash.) — I'll put them both to the proof 
this moment. [Exit^ l.h. 

Dash. No private parly ing. [Exit^ ) 

Byg. No ; we must all hear, [Exit, 

Mrs. B. Yes ; all must hear. [Exit, 

Mil. My presence may be necessary. 

{Going, L.H.) 

Capi. B. Millamour, stay and give me joy. 

Mil. Of what? 

Capt. B. The idol of my heart ! To-morrow 
makes her mine. 

Mil. Well, I give you joy. Who is she ? 

Capt. B. My Lady Bell, thou dear fellow : 
come, let us go and see what they are about. 



rit, i 

Vit, \ L.H. 

tit, ) 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 103 

Mil. Let us go and see who shall cut the 
Other's throat. 

Capt. B. A pleasant employment. 

Mil. You shall tear this heart out, before you 
tear Lady Bell from me. 

Capt. B. Very well ; have your frolic. — This 
works as I could wish. (^Aside.) 

[Crosses and exit l.h.d. 

Mil. Despair and frenzy ! if she is capable of 
a treachery like this — 

Enter Lady Bell, l.h.d. 

Lady Bell. You have done some good at last, 
Mr. Millamour. 

Mil. Lady Bell ! — {Pauses^ and looks at her.) 
— 1 once thought — but you will break my heart. 

Lady Bell. It will bend a little, but never 
break. 

Mil. Will you listen to me ? There is a ty- 
rant fair, and you have interest with her ; you 
can serve me ; all the joys of life are centered 
there. 

Lady Bell. {Smiles aside.) He is mine against 
the world. And so you want my interest ? 
That's lucky, for I have a favour to request of 
you. 

Mil. Is there a favour in the power of man, 
you may not command at my hands ? 

Lady Bell. You are very good, sir ; there is 
a person, but the levity of his temper — 

Mil. (Aside.) She means me.— Your beauty 
will reclaim him. 



104 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

Lady Bell. (^Smiles at him.) May I rely upon 
you? 

Mil What an angel look there was ! — {Aside.) 
— and do you ask the question ? 

Lady Bell. When sincere affection — 

Mil. It is generous to own it. 

Lady Bell. And since the impression made 
by- 

Mil. Do not hesitate. 

Lady Bell. Made by Captain Bygrove — 

Mil. Made by Captain Bygrove. {Turns away.) 

Lady Bell. That wounds deep — {Aside.) — and 
if you will assist my fond, fond hopes — it will 
be generous indeed. 

Mil. This is a blow I never looked for. — 
{Aside.) — Yes, ma'am, it will be generous — and 
in return, if you will intercede for me with 
Lady Bell — pho ! with a — with Lady Jane, I 
say — I say if you will intercede for me with 
Lady Jane — 

Lady Bell. Oh ! by all means. And as I ap- 
prove of your choice— (/fe walks away., she fol- 
lows him.) — I hope you will approve of mine ; 
and by mutual acts of friendship, we may pro- 
mote each other's happiness. 

Enter Dashwould, l.h.d. 

Dash. Malvil is detected. 

Lady Bell. And Sir Harry has settled every 
thing with Miss Neville. Go and wish him joy. 
— [Exit Dash, l.h.d.] — My sweet friend will be 
happy at last. {Going.) 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 105 

Mil. ( Taking her hand.) But you won't marry 
the Captain ? 

Lady Bell. Will you make interest for me ? 

Mil. How can you torment me thus ? 

Lady Bell. You have done some service, and 
you may now entertain a degree of hope. — 
{^Smiling at him.) — But have you another copy 
of verses for my aunt ? 

Mil. How can you ? — {Kisses her hand.) — She 
yields, and I am blessed indeed. 

Enter Miss Neville, Sir Harry Lovewit, Lady 
Jane, and Captain Bygrove, l.h. 

Lady Bell. Here, Sir Harry, in the presence 
of this company, I give you, in this friend of 
mine, truth, good sense and virtue. Take her, 
sir, and now you have got a treasure. 

Sir H. {To Miss Neville.) It shall be my pride 
to raise you to that sphere of life, which yoiir 
merit, and your sufferings from — 

{Looks at Mrs. Bromley.) 

Mrs. B. Why fix on me, sir ? 

Sir H. They are much mistaken, who can 
find no way of shewing their superior rank, but 
by letting their weight fall on those, whom for- 
tune has placed beneath, them. 

Dash. And that sentiment, however I may 
rattle, I wish impressed upon all the patrons of 
poor relations, throughout his majesty's domi- 
nions. 

Miss JV. {Crosses to Mrs. B.) Mrs. Bromley, I 
have much to say to you. My obligations to 
10 



I 



106 KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 

you I shall never forget. I am not ashamed, 
even in the presence of Sir Harry, to own the 
distress in which you found me. If at any time 
I have given offence ; if under your displeasure, 
I have been impatient, you will allow for an 
education that raised me much above my circum- 
stances. That education shall teach me to act as 
becomes Sir Harry's lady, with aflfection, with 
duty to him ; and to you, madam, with grati- 
tude, for that bounty which saved me from ca- 
lamity and ruin. 

Mrs. B. Your words overpower me. I feel 
that I have done wrong. I rejoice at your good 
fortune : your merit d^erves it. {She takes her 
Ifiand — they retire a little up the stage.^ 

])ash. Why this is as/dt should be. — Mr. By- 
grove, I hope soon to wish you joy. 

Byg. Compared to Malvil, thou art an honest 
fellow, and I thank you. 

Dash. Millamour, is the*^ no recompense for 
your virtue ? in a modern comedy, you would 
be rewarded with a wife. 

Mil. Lady Bell has more than poetical justice 
in her power. I wish Sir John were here : he 
would now see me reclaimed from every folly, 
by that lady. 

Mrs. B. (^Advancingg,hetween Dashwould and 
Bygrove. — Miss JV. is now with Sir Harry.) If it 
is so, I congratulate you both. 

Lady Bell. It is even so, aunt : the whim of 
the present moment. Mr. Millamour has serv- 
ed my amiable friend, and I have promised him 
my hand — and so — {Crosses to him and holding up 



KNOW YOUR OWN MIND. 



107 



both her hands.) — which will vou have ? Puzzle 
about it, and know your ownlmind if you can. 

Mil. With rapture t/husM snatch it to my 
heart. j fxi 



nunnery will you go 
^ Qd your son to take 



I have obeyed al- 

\ truth must out; we 
to fix my sister and 



Lady Bell. Sister, w' 
to ? Mr. Bygrove, coi 
her. 

Capt B. That comi 
ready. 

Lady Jane. Sia&e 
made use of a stratage 
that gentleman. . 

Lady Bell. To mcyo^elf, if you pleasS. 
knew you would Ife msyrried before me. 

Mil. Dashwould, giveSme your hand. Your 
wit shall enliven our s6oal hours, and while I 
laugh with you a^he events of life, you shall 
see me endeavour T|a^ee)| out of my own mind 
every folly. ^ ^^^\] 

Dash. You do me hon(^r, sir ; and if Mr. By- 
grove will now and then give and take a joke-— 

Byg. As oftea.as you please : — but take my 
advice, and donW lose your friend for your joke. 

Dash. By no iHi^'^s,\^r, Bygrove — except 
now and then, when th^^&end is the worst of 
the two. ^*^ 

Mil. The varieties of life, till now, distracted 
mj attention. 

But when our hearts victorious beauty draws, 

We feel its pow''r., and own its sov"^ reign laws ; 

To that subservient all our passions move, 

-find even my constancy shall spring from love. 



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